This morning marked a milestone in my journey of motherhood. Jacie vomited all over me. It's was one of those dreaded scenarios that I'd thought about pre-baby, certain I'd be so revolted that I'd be of no help to the sick child. But God gift-wrapped the moment in a way I would never have imagined.
I had been sleeping in, taking advantage of Conroy getting up with Jacie to spend time with her before he left for work. But about an hour before I normally get up when I sleep in, I felt prompted to get up and join my family. As I came out to the kitchen, I smiled at Jacie in her high chair eating her breakfast. She smiled at me and jabbered her welcome, but seemed a little less animated than normal. Conroy mentioned that she wasn't eating much, and I figured maybe she was already getting tired and ready for her morning nap. I cleaned her up and lifted her down from the high chair, guiding her to a favorite toy. As I headed back to the kitchen, I could her joyful little squeals in play. Not more than a couple minutes later, I turned to see her walking into the kitchen toward me, whining a little and lifting her arms to be held. My first inclination was to ignore her so that I could get breakfast first, but instead I picked her up and held her thinking that I'd sit with her for a minute or two before starting to make breakfast. As I walked over to the chair, commenting aloud to Conroy on her lack of appetite and whiny behavior, it happened. All over my arm, my hair, the front of my clothes, and the ottoman I was near --- Jacie threw up. "Well, that explains it," I said, standing there, unsure if I ought to run for the sink or if that would only create a bigger mess.
As Conroy helped to clean Jacie and me up, the pervasive thought in my head was how God sees me, His messed-up child, so often sick with sin. Instead of revulsion, I felt nothing but loving pity for Jacie's sick state. As she laid her head weakly on my shoulder, and then a little later Conroy's shoulder, I wanted nothing more than to comfort or help her in her dependent state. Despite my vomit-coated hair and ruined clothes, no twinge of irritation or speck of disgust clouded my feelings toward my daughter. How much more my perfectly loving Heavenly Father loves and pities me when I am in desperate need and completely helpless! So today I'm so thankful that Jacie threw up on me. I relish the reminder of how much I'm loved by my Father God!
