To be honest, Thursday nights are not usually my favorite night of the week. Maybe it's the rush to put dinner on the table, then leave the mess behind to rush out the door to teach ESL at 6:30 (the students so make this ministry a joy!). Maybe it's coming home to the dinner mess still there, only now with a living room full of young adults poring over their Bibles under Conroy's enthusiastic leadership. Maybe it's the inevitable late night followed by an early morning in the classroom. Don't get me wrong; there's nothing I'd rather be doing than serving with my husband, teaching, and opening our home for Kingdom purposes. And typically the initial inward groaning of this introvert-at-heart gives way to whole-hearted interaction. It just takes me a moment.
But tonight... Tonight I felt it. I felt the soul-deep satisfaction of doing what we are put on this earth to do. I felt the bit of heaven on earth that ministry can sometimes be --- the moment when you feel that all you're doing is really making a difference, and you actually see and feel that difference. The moment when eternal impact is felt.
Tonight I saw it. I saw it in the bright, upturned face of one who is seeing the purpose in her heartache. I saw it in the dawning of realization in the eyes of a young believer when he heard "there's no longer condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus" for the first time.
Tonight I heard it. As I put away the dishes in the kitchen, the buzz of God-focused conversation sounded to me like the hallelujah chorus from Handel's Messiah. I heard the rustle of the angels of heaven bending close to look into the things of grace they don't understand.
Tonight was a moment framed in gold, imprinted on my mind and heart, tucked away for pondering. This is it. This is why I do what I do, why I am what I am, why I married whom I married. Our lives are all about God's Word and God's people, but the daily ordinary often feels less than significant. But tonight the ministry moment was tangible, the joy of it transcendent.
Friday, November 16, 2012
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Colossians and Cravings
Two recent shaping forces in my inner life of late --- an online study of Colossians and a personal read of Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst. The Colossians blog renewed my desire for writing/ blogging and for studying God's Word (nothing better than combining the two!). Not sure what direction that renewed desire will take but this post is one step to get back into blogging. Perhaps reinventing my blog approach is in order as well. As far as group study goes, I'm looking forward to doing the Good Morning Girls Advent study with a small group of ladies from my church. So excited!
Made to Crave struck a nerve that the skeptic in me had tried to downplay. This book slapped the "I've heard it all before" attitude right out of me and brought me to my knees in humility. Two convicting concepts from the book:
1. "To him who knows what is right and doesn't do it, it is sin." No amount of chalking my failures up to lack of discipline or lack of strength can sugarcoat the reality that I am choosing to sin since I know how I should be eating. I've read extensively on the subject and understand the dangers of unhealthy eating. Not liking to cook = choosing to be lazy instead doing what I know is right. Consuming that sugary treat = sin if its not in my calorie count/ budgeted eating. Hard stuff, but it's truth smacking me upside the head.
2. My struggles are my reality. God chose to place this particular struggle in my life, knowing I'd either be self- indulgent or unsympathetic to others' struggles if I didn't have to work hard at maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Just as it's wrong for me to look at other women with envy who don't struggle with infertility, it's wrong for me to be jealous of those who don't struggle with weight issues. God's plan for my life is just that -- His plan for me -- unique, individualized, and shaped to produce the exact work He wants done in my life, a work that could be completed in no other way, through no other means. So food/weight issues are His gift to me? Sure, in the same way that my infertility is and my singleness was God's gift, specially and specifically crafted to transform me into the image of His Son.
So here am I am, struggles and all, stripped of excuses. The question remains, what will I do with the truth I've been given?
Made to Crave struck a nerve that the skeptic in me had tried to downplay. This book slapped the "I've heard it all before" attitude right out of me and brought me to my knees in humility. Two convicting concepts from the book:
1. "To him who knows what is right and doesn't do it, it is sin." No amount of chalking my failures up to lack of discipline or lack of strength can sugarcoat the reality that I am choosing to sin since I know how I should be eating. I've read extensively on the subject and understand the dangers of unhealthy eating. Not liking to cook = choosing to be lazy instead doing what I know is right. Consuming that sugary treat = sin if its not in my calorie count/ budgeted eating. Hard stuff, but it's truth smacking me upside the head.
2. My struggles are my reality. God chose to place this particular struggle in my life, knowing I'd either be self- indulgent or unsympathetic to others' struggles if I didn't have to work hard at maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Just as it's wrong for me to look at other women with envy who don't struggle with infertility, it's wrong for me to be jealous of those who don't struggle with weight issues. God's plan for my life is just that -- His plan for me -- unique, individualized, and shaped to produce the exact work He wants done in my life, a work that could be completed in no other way, through no other means. So food/weight issues are His gift to me? Sure, in the same way that my infertility is and my singleness was God's gift, specially and specifically crafted to transform me into the image of His Son.
So here am I am, struggles and all, stripped of excuses. The question remains, what will I do with the truth I've been given?
Isle of Shadows: book review
Provided as a complimentary copy by Booksneeze, Isle of Shadows proved to be everything it promised. Set in the turbulent and obscure times of the "silent" period (between the Old and New Testaments), Isle of Shadows described the sad but riveting life of Tessa, a high-class prostitute to a key political figure on a Greek island. Despite Tessa's best attempts to seal off her heart, an elderly Jewish servant wins her trust and demonstrates Yahweh's love to her during her time of deepest need. The love of the One True God and of a young man of character eventually win Tessa over and help her to face the formidable forces seeking to destroy her.
Tracy Higley is becoming a real favorite of mine. Her writing is polished and nuanced, feeding the reader meaty Scriptural truths while capturing attention through rich detail and characterization. Tessa's internal transformation speaks to any reader who is struggling with guilt over the past and is looking for a fresh start and the healing power of forgiveness. I especially liked the surprise Biblical historical character link to the Messiah revealed at the end of the book! Higley hits another home run in Isle of Shadows, for sure!
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