The REAL Reason I send Jacie to School....

My big four-year-old headed off to school today (yes, I know I wrote yesterday about homeschooling, but for now we're enjoying the best of both worlds!).  

She awoke early, chipper and cheerily anticipating school today.  She knocked on our bedroom door and called, "Is it time for school yet?" way too early....  When we groggily responded, "No, not yet.  Go play until we tell you."  She obediently scampered off (oh, how I've longed for this day -- when she's finally old enough to "go play" and let me catch a few more winks!).

After feeding her, dressing her, loading her backpack, I watched her run out the door with her dad and jump into the car.   As I closed the door behind them and walked back into the house, I thought, "Now THIS is why I like school!"

Why do I REALLY send my daughter to school two days a week?

1.) For the blissful peace and quiet of a house to myself for a few hours.  Ahhh!

2.) For the breakfast or lunch date hubby and I get to indulge in without finding a babysitter.

Those are MY reasons.

Jacie loves school.  I'm glad for the opportunity for her to interact with her peers on a limited basis, especially since she has no playmates at home.  I'm thankful for the Christian teachers who are faithful, committed, whom I know personally, and have complete trust in their character.  I know that she's in a safe environment.

This is how Jacie benefits.

But I cannot get past the heartfelt, soul-deep conviction I have that it is MY job to train, teach, and raise my child.  That is why I say two days a week and no more.  Because I want to be the chief influence in my daughter's life  -- the chief teacher, the chief, shaper and molder.  At least for now during these young, tender years.

Do I love my peace and quiet?  Do I love my freedom?  YES!  But even that love makes me leery of my own motives.  My freedom is not worth abdicating my responsibility.  I have been given a commission from the moment my daughter was entrusted to me by God, and I fully intend to be the one, alongside my husband, to carry out that God-given responsibility.

One day, I won't have the "best of both worlds" option.  One day the fork in the road will come, and I must be all in one way or another.  On that day, as on this day, I will choose the path to which God has called me.  The course for which I and my husband alone must answer when God asks us, "What did YOU do to raise your child in the nurture and admonition of the LORD?"

Learning Adventures at Home

Tuesday, August 26

Today Jacie asked to color, and I gave her a choice between numbers, shapes, and letters.  She chose this rectangle worksheet.  Because she can read the directions by herself, she was able to complete the whole worksheet with no input from me.

(I did help her with the 5.)

I'm so excited that she's writing on her own!  A few months ago, I tried to encourage her to write short words, and she protested with "I can't!"  Now she's writing on her own without being asked!

Other activities today included PlayDough art, and educational TV =  Sesame Street with the letter "I" and Daniel Tiger discussing how to handle feelings/emotions, specifically frustration.  

We also talked about money denominations and values after Jacie asked for coins to put in her newly painted cupcake bank.  She earned a nickel by cleaning up the living room for me!

Learning Adventures at Home

Monday, August 25

Jacie drew a basketball, a dog, and a church this morning.  She labeled the dog and the church to the best of her ability.  I discovered these in the morning after breakfast.  She had done them on her own before breakfast.  Look where personal learning and discovery leads!

basketball

Art time consisted of painting a cupcake bank she got for her birthday.  She was especially concerned about making sure the dots were colored just right!

Other activities today were fairly typical -- reading time on her own and with me, Bible stories, some educational TV/iPad time, nap, and outside time. I really don't think the skills, development, and learning accomplished in a typical day at home can be quantified!

Educating at Home

My world and my newsfeed is abuzz with "back to school" or "first day of school" chatter.  Caught up in it, I'm eager to dress my child up, load her with a backpack and send her off to that magical place called "school."  And I do -- a couple days a week anyway.

But as an educator, a reader, and one who's been exposed to many different educational styles, I'm thinking through this whole process of education. Actually, I've been thinking it through long before I ever had a child.  I began the process of analyzing my thoughts on education as a teenager when I compared my elementary homeschool days to my junior high and high school years in a non-traditional Christian school.  As a young adult working as a behavioral health aide in the public schools, I further processed the type of learning mold squirmy 5 and 6 year olds were herded into on a daily basis.  I didn't like what I saw there. I remember a free-wheeling family in my church where I grew up firmly advocate and implement the "unschooling" philosophy where their children's interests were completely self-directed and unchecked/corrected.

My take? Perhaps something in between.  I saw the phrase "relaxed homeschooling" when I googled a name to give to my approach.  I also saw "unstructured homeschooling." I want my child to learn discipline and structure.  My theology will not allow me to have a completely child-centered, child-directed approach to schooling.  However, my  experience and observations shows me that forcing kids into a highly structured learning environment at a young age will surely and almost certainly create a distaste for school and a hatred for learning by default.  I want something different for my daughter.  I want to foster and promote her natural love for learning.  I believe all kids do naturally love learning, to a degree  -- it may be just a matter of finding their interest or learning style that when capitalized upon comes to life.  I can't speak from years of parental experience.  I am a teacher and have taught all ages. I have been a student in many different types of educational settings.  Now I embark on the journey of pursuing the best course of education for my daughter.

The following blogs will chart my journey.  Embrace and enjoy the journey with me, and feel free to share thoughts and ideas from your own journeys.

Why Theology is More Important than any Marriage or Parenting Book

Reading marriage books is a popcorn-like addiction for me (and I really like popcorn, just ask my husband).  I started reading marriage books as a teenager -- then mostly for the illustrations, but also since I wanted to be a counselor one day.  I would think "It's just so simple. Do A, B, and C and you'll have a dream marriage!"

I gravitate to parenting books in the same way.  "What new trick or technique or insight will transform me into a stellar parent?" I think.   And then I also mentally bemoaned, "Oh, if only so-and-so would just read this book, implement that strategy, or understand this idea -- all his/her problems would be solved!"

Now don't get me wrong.  Christian marriage books and parenting books can be very helpful and enlightening. But they are not magic bullets.

The church is not just one tip away from transforming marriage. 

 "If only the church would have this seminar or that training on marriage or parenting," I've often heard the lament.  But that seminar or this training will not transform your marriage or your parenting. Theology will.

I know, I know -- to most people "theology" is a stuffy, dead word. But that's because most people don't know what it means.  "Theology" literally means "the study of God."

Do we believe that knowing God is the most important knowledge to have? 

Do we really believe that knowing Him transforms our lives to the core -- from the inside out, beginning with our own hearts and filtering out into our relationships, especially those closest to us like our spouse and kids? 

If we really believe that knowing God makes all the difference, why does it come as a surprise to us that our theology is more important to our marriage and our parenting than the latest book on communication?

Four Reasons Theology Matters More:

1. Theology helps me understand the complete and ruinous nature of sin.  When I understand that I am a sinner, my spouse is a sinner, and my children our sinners, I will cease being shocked and disillusioned but their sin. I will not have impossible expectations for my spouse and my children.  I will not automatically expect that marriage will be a bed of roses and my children will behave like angels all the time. In one article I read recently, the author blamed the church for her unhappiness in her marriage with a line of reasoning that went something like "the church should have warned me that even if I did everything right in my dating relationship, my marriage would still be hard and frustrating at times." My husband's comment in response to my sharing the gist with him was to point out her lack of understanding the theology of sin.  As is so succinctly stated in the movie Princess Bride, "Life is difficult, Highness. Anyone who tells you different is selling something."  When I understand that sin has taken everything that God created perfect and has twisted it, I will cease to be surprised by sin's presence in my relationships.

2.  Theology highlights my inability and points to my need for God's intervention.  If I am convinced of my sinfulness, I will recognize my need for God in all of my interactions.  I will pray more for God's help as I seek to love my husband and raise my children in The Lord.  I will be Spirit led rather than self led. I will be humble and quick to ask for forgiveness.  This broken spirit will transform my relationships.

3. Theology reminds me that I have been forgiven much so I must forgive others. If you were raised in a Christian home, Ephesians 4:32 was probably one of the first verses you memorized as a child.  The last part is especially relevant here ~

 "...forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you." 

As a child, I had no idea of the depth of theology packed into that short, familiar phrase.  Time and attention span fail me when it comes to unpacking all of the ramifications of God's forgiveness of my sin due to Christ's work on the cross, but suffice it to say -- I have no business becoming bitter or holding a grudge against my spouse or child when I understand how great a debt God forgave me.

4.  Theology equips me to do what I cannot do on my own. Understanding scripture informs me that I have the strength, power, and wisdom of the God's own Spirit living inside of me, so I can and must live a godly, transformed life.  I can and must love my spouse and children in a Christlike way. Theology also teaches me how to do these things.  One parenting book I read answered the oft-posed question "Why does the Bible have so little to say about the how-to's of parenting?" The author countered this assumption by pointing out that Bible teaches us how to live, how to be kind, how to be wise -- so the carry over becomes self-evident -- we must be kind to our children, loving to our children, patient with our children, etc.  The Bible gives us the fruit of the Spirit and shows us what love looks like (1 Cor. 13). If we out on these Christian attributes, we will be godly people, godly spouses, and godly parents.

Sounds simplistic? Perhaps. But as any dedicated Christian knows,

 it may be basic, but it's not easy.

It's not easy to put to death the flesh every day, but that's the way of life for a Christian.  That's the bottomline marriage and parenting advice of Scripture.  And it's sufficient.

So am I done with Christian marriage and parenting books?  Nah.  But I will give them their proper place, not crediting them with any more weight than their due.  And I will advocate Scriptural theology as the best and only truly sufficient answer to the issues of life.

Camp Week Highlights

What did I love about camp last week?  Let me tell you!

Coming up upon Conroy and a counselor praying together, intense over the heart-needs of his campers (and my daughter asking, "Mommy, why is Daddy praying with him?"  I love answering those types of questions!)...

Standing in the back of the camp "tabernacle" watching staffers' and campers' arms raised high in adoration, voices lifted, tears flowing on the last night of camp -- emotions choking out the words as they respond to God's Word from their hearts...

Watching the sun shining on the lake as we make our way to breakfast and hearing questions like "Why is the lake full of sparkles, Mama?"

Catching a glimpse of the hearts of the dedicated camp workers who expend their lives in ministry every week all summer to countless young people...

Seeing a counselor's fist pump in the air and a silent mouthed "Yes!" as a camper he's prayed for all week responds to the gospel invitation on the final night.

This is what we live for.  This is the "mountaintop" of ministry.  Seeing lives changed.  Watching hearts soften.  Getting front row seat to God's kingdom action.  It doesn't get any better than this.

Exhausting? yes.  

Rewarding? beyond measure.

Easily "the best week of the summer" just like the banner on the wall of the chapel confidently proclaims!

A' Camping We Will Go!

We are camping this week (if living in a cottage for a week counts as camping).  I have idyllic dreams of camping --
            Long hours blogging/journaling on the porch overlooking the lake.
            Morning runs along the wood-lined trails near our cabin.
            Getting ahead on my research/class prep for the upcoming school year.

Oh wait.

I'm camping with a 4-year-old.  

Scratch those plans.

Instead my camp week will involve "Jacie-style" activites --
       Stopping to examine spider webs and stones along the wooded trail near our cabin.
       Playing "motorboat" in the camp pool. 
       Playing "Noah and Mrs. Noah" in the boat-shaped playground.

But still, there's something about camping -- Retreating into the woods, looking out over a serene lake, breathing in nature anew -- that rejuvenates the soul.

And while it might not be quite the idyllic getaway I might dream of,
I get to experience the great outdoors through the fresh eyes of my 4-year-old, 
I get to participate in the always-novel wonder of seeing God work in young lives through the preaching of His Word in a setting free of distractions.

I get to experience camp in a different way -- not as a counselor, not as a camper --but as an adult, a ministry wife  -- a perspective from the outside in.