Once we'd decided to focus on adoption, I was chomping at the bit to get started. But I had to wait. Waiting has long been a struggle for me. I like to see immediate results and have all the steps fall into place. But waiting has been a constant theme in my life. This time I had to wait for us to move.
After a little bit of research, I found that one of the first steps for foster care and/or adoption is completing a home study. Since we were anticipating a move to another state, I knew that it was pointless to begin the process until we were settled. But I printed out the forms and made a few calls in the weeks leading up to our move, trying to expedite the process as much as possible.
We've decided to try to adopt through Jamaica first. I could not find many agencies working with Jamaican adoptions, though the wait and cost were quoted as much shorter and lower than almost any other international adoption. A phone conversation with one agency in Jamaica proved very discouraging as she cited a long list of problems with adopting from Jamaica. But we are persisting, hoping and praying that Conroy's family in Jamaica will make the process smoother for us than it might be for the typical American family seeking to adopt. We are not going through an agency either as the cost increases substantially to hire an adoption agency and Jamaica does not require that we go through an agency; we can adopt directly through Jamaica's Child Development Agency (an office of the government).
Ever impatient, I wanted to increase our chances of finding a child quickly by looking domestically at the same time that we are in process with Jamaica, but I've been told that's not possible. Each home study must be country specific. And getting a home study done is not a cheap or simple process! ($1200 for an international adoption and between $200-$300 for domestic)
Besides completing the home study application on this end, we've also submitted an application to the Jamaican CDA for approval on their end. We're waiting to hear from Jamaica in regard to that application now. I'm working on getting all the required forms together for the home study application in the meantime.
Lately, frustrated with ambiguous time line for adoption, I've begun to consider again other herbs and drugs to aid conception. I don't want the emotional roller coaster, but the "what if it works this time?" and the lure of possible instant pregnancy tempts me....
Monday, August 24, 2009
OUR JOURNEY
Everyone likes to tell their story. I guess I'm no different from anyone else in that regard. Our story seems magical to us. (Everyone else probably feels the same way, right?)
We met as Resident Directors at a small Bible college. Long walks and deep talks soon created a deep friendship that gave way to a budding romance by the end of the first year of working together. One year later we were married, surrounded by family and loved ones. The first few years have passed quickly, blissful and serene.
Except for one thing: the unfulfilled desire for children. About a year and a half into our marriage, we began to talk seriously about planning for a family. An abrupt announcement from my Ob/Gyn raised the first sign of bumps in the road ahead: "You do know it will be difficult for you to get pregnant since you have cystic ovaries." The words rang in my head over and over as I researched online about this previously unheard of condition.
Believing that this problem could be dealt with naturally, I sought holistic advice from experts. I took large doses of vitamins and Omega 3s, changed my diet, tried herbal teas, and other homeopathic remedies. After a couple of months, I noticed changes in my system that led me to be more hopeful about the probability of pregnancy -- only to be disappointed month after month. Eventually, feeling he could offer me no more help, the holistic doctor referred me to another specialist.
Sitting in the gynecologist office waiting for yet another round of tests, I felt myself crashing from the roller coaster of emotions. Determined not to go to great or expensive lengths with fertility treatments, I felt that I was getting to the end of my self-imposed tether. Despite my best efforts not to get my hopes up with each possible suggestion or solution, I couldn't help but hope and then, in turn, experience the pit-sinking sensation of hope deferred with each month's failure to conceive.
Adoption has long been on my heart, even before marriage. I love the picture it provides of what God did for us, how He rescued us from our own bankrupt condition and gave us His Name and made us heirs of His kingdom. How amazing to be able to do that on a human level for a nameless, homeless child! I needed no convincing to channel my energies and focus toward adoption.
We met as Resident Directors at a small Bible college. Long walks and deep talks soon created a deep friendship that gave way to a budding romance by the end of the first year of working together. One year later we were married, surrounded by family and loved ones. The first few years have passed quickly, blissful and serene.
Except for one thing: the unfulfilled desire for children. About a year and a half into our marriage, we began to talk seriously about planning for a family. An abrupt announcement from my Ob/Gyn raised the first sign of bumps in the road ahead: "You do know it will be difficult for you to get pregnant since you have cystic ovaries." The words rang in my head over and over as I researched online about this previously unheard of condition.
Believing that this problem could be dealt with naturally, I sought holistic advice from experts. I took large doses of vitamins and Omega 3s, changed my diet, tried herbal teas, and other homeopathic remedies. After a couple of months, I noticed changes in my system that led me to be more hopeful about the probability of pregnancy -- only to be disappointed month after month. Eventually, feeling he could offer me no more help, the holistic doctor referred me to another specialist.
Sitting in the gynecologist office waiting for yet another round of tests, I felt myself crashing from the roller coaster of emotions. Determined not to go to great or expensive lengths with fertility treatments, I felt that I was getting to the end of my self-imposed tether. Despite my best efforts not to get my hopes up with each possible suggestion or solution, I couldn't help but hope and then, in turn, experience the pit-sinking sensation of hope deferred with each month's failure to conceive.
Adoption has long been on my heart, even before marriage. I love the picture it provides of what God did for us, how He rescued us from our own bankrupt condition and gave us His Name and made us heirs of His kingdom. How amazing to be able to do that on a human level for a nameless, homeless child! I needed no convincing to channel my energies and focus toward adoption.
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