A Decade of Delight and Disappointment

10 years.  A decade.  So many years of marriage...  So short a time when you're in love...

Looking back over the last ten years, I see mostly sunshine and roses with just enough rain and thorns to make us appreciate the warmth and sweetness. Chronologically, I would characterize our first decade in this way:

Delight #1:  After many years of singleness, finally marrying the man of my dreams and experiencing God's gracious goodness in the delight of our love.  Our marriage has been the "exceeding abundant" answer to my every prayer and has surpassed my wildest expectations.

Disappointment #1:  Realizing in the second year of our marriage that conceiving a child would be difficult for us.  Battling infertility has been the cloud in the otherwise sunny sky for most of the first decade of our marriage.  But through it all, we have found solace in one another and in the sovereignty of our God.  I often think of Elkanah's words to Hannah in 1 Samuel chapter one, and silently answer his question to his wife "Am I not better to you than ten sons?"  with a firm "yes" as applies to the gift God has given me in Conroy.

Delight #2: The blessing of our miracle from heaven, our own Jacie Nevaeh, born in the fourth year of our marriage when we had just about given up hoping for biological children.  She has been our gift that keeps giving as we delight in each stage of her development!

Disappointment #2:  Secondary infertility.  I mistakenly thought that after having one child, the "floodgates would open" and more children would come easily.  Not so.  Prayers and tears and more doctors' visits have proved me wrong.  But the same truths that held me during my years of singleness and then during the first few years of infertility have held me and have been my stay and comfort. I'm reminded once again to keep my hands open in surrender to the One Who loves perfectly and to relinquish my dreams as I allow Him to write my story.

Delight #3:  Ministering together.  "Two hearts, one dream."  We're in this life journey together.  Our calling unified.  There's no greater joy than serving the Lord, except for the joy of serving Him together.  He has replaced our dreams and expectations with His own, and we delight in discovering His unexpected plans for us.

So it is with the confident delight in our sovereign Lord's plans, that I eagerly anticipate the next decade (and more) of our marriage --  peering around the corner down the next corridor of the joyous adventure found in serving our Great and Worthy Savior together!