It Takes a Church....

Hillary Clinton famously said "It takes a village to raise a child."  As conservatives, we decry such a notion, loathing the idea of any secularized institution having a hand in shaping the heart, soul, and mind of our precious, impressionable children.  Unfortunately, I (and perhaps others) have assumed that the rightful opposite of that statement is that Christian parents are to bear the sole responsibility of raising their children.  God has been very creatively and deliberately showing me how wrong I am in that assumption.  

As a naturally independent person with specific beliefs and opinions on the rearing of my child, I have eagerly embraced the responsibility of raising my daughter in the fear and admonition of the Lord.  Conroy and I are intentional about regular Bible devotional time and prayer with our daughter. We expose her regularly and deliberately to children's Bible songs and Bible media.  Both Conroy and I were led to the Lord at our parents' knees.  Both of us were raised in pastors' homes and have Bible college degrees. So naturally, I assumed and expected that most likely we would be the ones to lead our daughter to the saving knowledge of Christ.

The church is dear to us and a regular part of our lives.  We firmly believe in the ministry of the local church and its important place in our daughter's live and in our lives.  But still, in my mind, I saw it as secondary to our home discipleship.  Then when Jacie was attending 2 &3 year old Sunday School, a shift occurred in my thinking.

In questioning her about her lesson after church as normal one Sunday, Jacie replied with the Gospel message -- the simple story of Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection to take the punishment for our sins.  For the first time, in her own words, I heard her articulate the Gospel.  Tears rushed to my eyes and the realization flooded through me that the faithfulness of her Sunday School teacher brought these eternal truths to bear on her conscience for the first time.

Fast forward to this year.  Jacie is 5, now approaching her 6th birthday next month.  My prayers for her salvation have intensified over the last year as I have seen her understanding grow and her knowledge deepen.  Also, I was saved at the age of 5 1/2 years, the truth dawning on me as the culmination of Bible teaching and exposure was ignited by the Holy Spirit in my heart .  So I had spent the year asking the Lord for the salvation of my daughter at an early age, as well.

Jacie attended kindergarten at our church's Christian school in the mornings for the last few months of school while I filled in at the high school in a long-term sub position.  I would pick her up in the late morning, and we would spend the rest of the day together -- either "homeschooling" or out and about.  One evening during our regular devotional time together, the topic of the children's Bible lesson we were reading related to salvation.  As I occasionally do, I asked Jacie if she had ever received Christ.  Usually her answers were evasive or she became silly and restless which I always took as the Holy Spirit's leading that she was not yet ready.  However, on this night, her answer was very serious and very specific.  She began to tell me how her kindergarten teacher at school presented the Gospel to the class during Bible time and encouraged them to pray to receive Christ if they hadn't already done so.  Jacie went on to share that she had prayed to receive Christ as her Savior in that moment.  I probed and questioned a little further as Jacie continued to express her understanding of the the Gospel and her faith in Christ.

The wonder hasn't left me yet.  God is so good to answer my specific prayer regarding Jacie coming to know Jesus as Savior at a young age!  Further, once again He sovereignly chose to use her Christian school teacher as the instrument of her salvation, once again, instead of her parents.

And so, I assert, with wonder and praise, that it takes the Church to raise a child in the fear and admonition of the Lord.  The body of Christ is meant to work together in sync for the procreation of the Kingdom.  How blessed are we to be a part of His body and how true it is that we are meant to need each other!

Top Five Jamaica Favorites + One

A decade ago, I first traveled to Jamaica with my then-fiance, now-husband.  I remember leafing through the pages of his childhood photo album, noting the missionaries and ministry guests often seen in and out of Conroy's home, influencing his growing-up years.  In that moment, nearly 10 years ago, a vision emerged in my mind of getting to share with our children this spiritual legacy.  And now, 10 years later, our almost-five-year-old daughter is at an age where she can begin to understand the legacy she's privileged to have.  She's a second-generation PK on both sides.  Her legacy is rich. She gets to witness and participate in worshiping God from two different cultural perspectives, shaping her from an early age.

Hands-down my favorite part of our Jamaica visits.

In addition to this rich spiritual legacy, here are my Top Five Favorites about Jamaica:

1.  The heartfelt, exuberant worship in church -- nothing thrills my soul more than worshiping with brothers and sisters in Christ especially in another culture -- there's no greater bonding experience!

2.  Warm, tropical nights -- no hint of cold in the air, but a perfect reprieve from the hot days.

3.  The white gauzy curtains against the wooden slats in the windows of Conroy's childhood home billowing in the breeze, lending an aura of coolness, even if no cool air is actually felt.  Just looking at them refreshes psychologically, if not physically.

4.  Jacie's exuberant delight in the beach.  She's not much for the water, but loves playing tag with the smallest, lapping waves on the seashore and building "sandcastles."

 

5.  The food!  Ackee, saltfish, jerk chicken, pumpkin rice, juicy mango, breadfruit, plantain, oxtail, hardo bread, spicy bun and Tastee cheese.... my mouth is watering!

Why Theology is More Important than any Marriage or Parenting Book

Reading marriage books is a popcorn-like addiction for me (and I really like popcorn, just ask my husband).  I started reading marriage books as a teenager -- then mostly for the illustrations, but also since I wanted to be a counselor one day.  I would think "It's just so simple. Do A, B, and C and you'll have a dream marriage!"

I gravitate to parenting books in the same way.  "What new trick or technique or insight will transform me into a stellar parent?" I think.   And then I also mentally bemoaned, "Oh, if only so-and-so would just read this book, implement that strategy, or understand this idea -- all his/her problems would be solved!"

Now don't get me wrong.  Christian marriage books and parenting books can be very helpful and enlightening. But they are not magic bullets.

The church is not just one tip away from transforming marriage. 

 "If only the church would have this seminar or that training on marriage or parenting," I've often heard the lament.  But that seminar or this training will not transform your marriage or your parenting. Theology will.

I know, I know -- to most people "theology" is a stuffy, dead word. But that's because most people don't know what it means.  "Theology" literally means "the study of God."

Do we believe that knowing God is the most important knowledge to have? 

Do we really believe that knowing Him transforms our lives to the core -- from the inside out, beginning with our own hearts and filtering out into our relationships, especially those closest to us like our spouse and kids? 

If we really believe that knowing God makes all the difference, why does it come as a surprise to us that our theology is more important to our marriage and our parenting than the latest book on communication?

Four Reasons Theology Matters More:

1. Theology helps me understand the complete and ruinous nature of sin.  When I understand that I am a sinner, my spouse is a sinner, and my children our sinners, I will cease being shocked and disillusioned but their sin. I will not have impossible expectations for my spouse and my children.  I will not automatically expect that marriage will be a bed of roses and my children will behave like angels all the time. In one article I read recently, the author blamed the church for her unhappiness in her marriage with a line of reasoning that went something like "the church should have warned me that even if I did everything right in my dating relationship, my marriage would still be hard and frustrating at times." My husband's comment in response to my sharing the gist with him was to point out her lack of understanding the theology of sin.  As is so succinctly stated in the movie Princess Bride, "Life is difficult, Highness. Anyone who tells you different is selling something."  When I understand that sin has taken everything that God created perfect and has twisted it, I will cease to be surprised by sin's presence in my relationships.

2.  Theology highlights my inability and points to my need for God's intervention.  If I am convinced of my sinfulness, I will recognize my need for God in all of my interactions.  I will pray more for God's help as I seek to love my husband and raise my children in The Lord.  I will be Spirit led rather than self led. I will be humble and quick to ask for forgiveness.  This broken spirit will transform my relationships.

3. Theology reminds me that I have been forgiven much so I must forgive others. If you were raised in a Christian home, Ephesians 4:32 was probably one of the first verses you memorized as a child.  The last part is especially relevant here ~

 "...forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you." 

As a child, I had no idea of the depth of theology packed into that short, familiar phrase.  Time and attention span fail me when it comes to unpacking all of the ramifications of God's forgiveness of my sin due to Christ's work on the cross, but suffice it to say -- I have no business becoming bitter or holding a grudge against my spouse or child when I understand how great a debt God forgave me.

4.  Theology equips me to do what I cannot do on my own. Understanding scripture informs me that I have the strength, power, and wisdom of the God's own Spirit living inside of me, so I can and must live a godly, transformed life.  I can and must love my spouse and children in a Christlike way. Theology also teaches me how to do these things.  One parenting book I read answered the oft-posed question "Why does the Bible have so little to say about the how-to's of parenting?" The author countered this assumption by pointing out that Bible teaches us how to live, how to be kind, how to be wise -- so the carry over becomes self-evident -- we must be kind to our children, loving to our children, patient with our children, etc.  The Bible gives us the fruit of the Spirit and shows us what love looks like (1 Cor. 13). If we out on these Christian attributes, we will be godly people, godly spouses, and godly parents.

Sounds simplistic? Perhaps. But as any dedicated Christian knows,

 it may be basic, but it's not easy.

It's not easy to put to death the flesh every day, but that's the way of life for a Christian.  That's the bottomline marriage and parenting advice of Scripture.  And it's sufficient.

So am I done with Christian marriage and parenting books?  Nah.  But I will give them their proper place, not crediting them with any more weight than their due.  And I will advocate Scriptural theology as the best and only truly sufficient answer to the issues of life.

Something Bigger than Me

On Sunday, we sang these lyrics from the hymn "Speak O Lord" by Stuart Townend and Keith Getty:

Speak, O Lord, and renew our minds; 

Help us grasp the heights of Your plans for us. 

Truths unchanged from the dawn of time, 

That will echo down through eternity. 

And by grace we'll stand on Your promises; 

And by faith we'll walk as You walk with us. 

Speak, O Lord, 'til your church is built 

And the earth is filled with Your glory.

We all want to be a part of something bigger than us. Something that lives on after us. Something that touches the four corners of the globe. Something more far-reaching than our small world.  At least I do. On a regular basis, the restless desire stirs in me to DO something -- something Big, something Earth-shattering, something that Matters.  Recently, the welling realization has flooded me that the Church is the Something Big I am seeking. It's the Big Movement of all time. The Church is the Grand Plan.  Spanning 2000 years, the collective body of believers has made a startling effect on the planet -- shaping history, culture, politics, government, families, and individuals.  Slaves have been and are being set free as a result of the passionate advocacy of members of Christ's Body. The hungry are being fed as a result of the compassionate work of Christian organizations. The academically and Biblically illiterate are being given the Words of Life in many nations around the world as a result of missionary work. As an individual, I cannot do all these things alone, or even at all.  I am just one person.  But I am part of the body of Christ. And we are One.  

So when I lift my voice in song -- proclaiming eternal truth, building the church, glorifying God.  I am thousands, probably millions of voices strong. I am singing as one with the present day members of Christ's body huddled together in an underground church in Asia.  I raise my voice in song along with  the church behind the Iron Curtain of the '80s in Russia.  My voice is united with the believers in Acts  experiencing the Holy Spirit building the church for the first time.  Across all of time, across all geographical boundaries, the church is one, accomplishing Kingdom work as one Body with one purpose and one Lord. What, then, can be more fulfilling than being a part of the Church?