Hillary Clinton famously said "It takes a village to raise a child." As conservatives, we decry such a notion, loathing the idea of any secularized institution having a hand in shaping the heart, soul, and mind of our precious, impressionable children. Unfortunately, I (and perhaps others) have assumed that the rightful opposite of that statement is that Christian parents are to bear the sole responsibility of raising their children. God has been very creatively and deliberately showing me how wrong I am in that assumption.
As a naturally independent person with specific beliefs and opinions on the rearing of my child, I have eagerly embraced the responsibility of raising my daughter in the fear and admonition of the Lord. Conroy and I are intentional about regular Bible devotional time and prayer with our daughter. We expose her regularly and deliberately to children's Bible songs and Bible media. Both Conroy and I were led to the Lord at our parents' knees. Both of us were raised in pastors' homes and have Bible college degrees. So naturally, I assumed and expected that most likely we would be the ones to lead our daughter to the saving knowledge of Christ.
The church is dear to us and a regular part of our lives. We firmly believe in the ministry of the local church and its important place in our daughter's live and in our lives. But still, in my mind, I saw it as secondary to our home discipleship. Then when Jacie was attending 2 &3 year old Sunday School, a shift occurred in my thinking.
In questioning her about her lesson after church as normal one Sunday, Jacie replied with the Gospel message -- the simple story of Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection to take the punishment for our sins. For the first time, in her own words, I heard her articulate the Gospel. Tears rushed to my eyes and the realization flooded through me that the faithfulness of her Sunday School teacher brought these eternal truths to bear on her conscience for the first time.
Fast forward to this year. Jacie is 5, now approaching her 6th birthday next month. My prayers for her salvation have intensified over the last year as I have seen her understanding grow and her knowledge deepen. Also, I was saved at the age of 5 1/2 years, the truth dawning on me as the culmination of Bible teaching and exposure was ignited by the Holy Spirit in my heart . So I had spent the year asking the Lord for the salvation of my daughter at an early age, as well.
Jacie attended kindergarten at our church's Christian school in the mornings for the last few months of school while I filled in at the high school in a long-term sub position. I would pick her up in the late morning, and we would spend the rest of the day together -- either "homeschooling" or out and about. One evening during our regular devotional time together, the topic of the children's Bible lesson we were reading related to salvation. As I occasionally do, I asked Jacie if she had ever received Christ. Usually her answers were evasive or she became silly and restless which I always took as the Holy Spirit's leading that she was not yet ready. However, on this night, her answer was very serious and very specific. She began to tell me how her kindergarten teacher at school presented the Gospel to the class during Bible time and encouraged them to pray to receive Christ if they hadn't already done so. Jacie went on to share that she had prayed to receive Christ as her Savior in that moment. I probed and questioned a little further as Jacie continued to express her understanding of the the Gospel and her faith in Christ.
The wonder hasn't left me yet. God is so good to answer my specific prayer regarding Jacie coming to know Jesus as Savior at a young age! Further, once again He sovereignly chose to use her Christian school teacher as the instrument of her salvation, once again, instead of her parents.
And so, I assert, with wonder and praise, that it takes the Church to raise a child in the fear and admonition of the Lord. The body of Christ is meant to work together in sync for the procreation of the Kingdom. How blessed are we to be a part of His body and how true it is that we are meant to need each other!
Sunday, June 5, 2016
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
"So, How's Homeschooling Going?"
Every now and then someone will pose the question to me "How's homeschooling going?" Several answers flit through my mind -- each one incomplete by itself. So here's my long-winded response:
It's bumpier than I expected.
It's hard for me to stick to a schedule. I hate being housebound, so we're often out and about -- at the library, the grocery store, the local park, or even taking road trips to see family and friends. So there are days when no formal "homeschooling" is done. Other days we do stick to the schedule, at least partially...
But I'm okay with the bumps now.
At first, I panicked, "Oh no, we're not sticking to the schedule!" or "We're not getting done by noon!" or "We didn't get to math today!" This reaction despite the "relaxed" philosophy I thought I had adopted. I'm still finding my way... I rationalize that she already knows how to read. She's doing first grade math. Do I really need to stick to schedule, to "home school" every day? It's only kindergarten! And we do Classical Conversations on Friday.
In the end, all the reasons I wanted to home school are still the reasons I love homeschooling
In the beginning, I despaired of ever getting "alone time" again, even wondering if maybe home school isn't for us. But recent weeks have deepened the surety of the calling. No one event or clarion moment sticks out, just a sense of rightness settling in: this is what I am called to do. These days, these years are fleeting. My moment, my window of opportunity to make an eternal impression on my daughter is now. So I won't give it away; I won't subcontract teaching, mentoring, and shaping my daughter to anyone else.
It's bumpier than I expected.
It's hard for me to stick to a schedule. I hate being housebound, so we're often out and about -- at the library, the grocery store, the local park, or even taking road trips to see family and friends. So there are days when no formal "homeschooling" is done. Other days we do stick to the schedule, at least partially...
But I'm okay with the bumps now.
At first, I panicked, "Oh no, we're not sticking to the schedule!" or "We're not getting done by noon!" or "We didn't get to math today!" This reaction despite the "relaxed" philosophy I thought I had adopted. I'm still finding my way... I rationalize that she already knows how to read. She's doing first grade math. Do I really need to stick to schedule, to "home school" every day? It's only kindergarten! And we do Classical Conversations on Friday.
In the end, all the reasons I wanted to home school are still the reasons I love homeschooling
I love spending time with my daughter.
I love getting to be the one who introduces new concepts, listening to her articulate her burgeoning theology in Bible time, watching her mentally wrestle with and grasp math facts.
I love making up funny animal references to her misshapen letters and getting to crack up with her at her mistakes. I love that she pokes fun at me when I make a letter that's not perfect for her to copy for her handwriting work.
I love that she loves me teaching her, too. Recently, while correcting her handwriting (not her favorite subject), she impulsively hugged me and said, "I love having you as my teacher, Mom!" A golden moment.
I love the flexibility of apple-picking "field trips", the real world people skills interaction with grocery cashiers, and endless hours to spend at the library.
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Top 5 Favorites from my 5-year-old
My little girl turned 5 this year! In honor of her birthday, I'm posting my top 5 favorites about my girl at this age.
1. Imagination Galore. All she has to do is slip into her princess dress-up dress, and she's transformed. She adopts this demure demeanor (NOT normal at all), and calmly walks up to me with downcast eyes and hands demurely clasped in front of her skirt. "Excuse me, but why does a beautiful maiden have to work as a servant? "she queries in melodramatic, affected martyr-like tones.
2. Avid Conversation and Storytelling Abilities. Once she gets started, you can't get her to stop! But the discussion is so worth it. She remembers every detail of Bible stories and retells them with a dramatic flair, acting out parts as she goes along. She always has something to say (which is sometimes overwhelming to this Mama who needs her peace and quiet!), but when I take time to really listen, what a window into her fertile mind I get!
3. Creative Morning Wake-up Calls. I never know what I'm gonna wake up to. One morning it's her mouth pressed to the doorknob, singing "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?". Another morning it's a made-up good-morning song. I've seen homemade "letters" appear under my bedroom door. Most recently, I was laying bed suddenly I hear the canned cheer of a crowd coming from the door. I started laughing despite myself when I realized the sound effect came from one of her birthday cards that she must be holding up to the door.
4. Expressive, Independent Reading. Even though she has been reading well for over a year, I still love eavesdropping on her reading aloud alone in her room. Book after book, she reads with such expression and interest. I joy in this shared passion, especially as we take almost daily trips to our local library in the summer (within walking distance, thankfully!). She eagerly anticipates the newest book being checked out, reading the title aloud and even upside down as the librarian checks it out, jumping up and down with excitement and attempting to begin reading the book even as we walk home. I so KNOW and share the same feeling and just revel in seeing it played out through her even at this age.
5. Sweet, Uninhibited Affection. Occasionally without warning, she will kiss my cheek or sidle up next to me with her hand on my arm. These actions always take me by surprise as I am not naturally spontaneously affectionate. I am so thankful that she is, though, because it reminds me to stop what I'm doing and reciprocate that affection. I also know there's a day coming when such impulses may be squelched, when reserve or resentment may replace such childlike expressions of love. And I want to soak them all in today. I want to gather them up and keep them like pressed flowers in the pages of my heart.
2. Avid Conversation and Storytelling Abilities. Once she gets started, you can't get her to stop! But the discussion is so worth it. She remembers every detail of Bible stories and retells them with a dramatic flair, acting out parts as she goes along. She always has something to say (which is sometimes overwhelming to this Mama who needs her peace and quiet!), but when I take time to really listen, what a window into her fertile mind I get!
3. Creative Morning Wake-up Calls. I never know what I'm gonna wake up to. One morning it's her mouth pressed to the doorknob, singing "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?". Another morning it's a made-up good-morning song. I've seen homemade "letters" appear under my bedroom door. Most recently, I was laying bed suddenly I hear the canned cheer of a crowd coming from the door. I started laughing despite myself when I realized the sound effect came from one of her birthday cards that she must be holding up to the door.
4. Expressive, Independent Reading. Even though she has been reading well for over a year, I still love eavesdropping on her reading aloud alone in her room. Book after book, she reads with such expression and interest. I joy in this shared passion, especially as we take almost daily trips to our local library in the summer (within walking distance, thankfully!). She eagerly anticipates the newest book being checked out, reading the title aloud and even upside down as the librarian checks it out, jumping up and down with excitement and attempting to begin reading the book even as we walk home. I so KNOW and share the same feeling and just revel in seeing it played out through her even at this age.
5. Sweet, Uninhibited Affection. Occasionally without warning, she will kiss my cheek or sidle up next to me with her hand on my arm. These actions always take me by surprise as I am not naturally spontaneously affectionate. I am so thankful that she is, though, because it reminds me to stop what I'm doing and reciprocate that affection. I also know there's a day coming when such impulses may be squelched, when reserve or resentment may replace such childlike expressions of love. And I want to soak them all in today. I want to gather them up and keep them like pressed flowers in the pages of my heart.
Friday, April 24, 2015
3 Reasons Why a Marriage Works
Last week, one of our college students from our young adult group at church asked for my feedback on a homework assignment (See below).
I had to think about this for a little bit. Marriage advice articles are a dime a dozen online. But if I had to boil down all those blog articles (including my own), all the books I've read, all the radio broadcasts I've heard on the topic, what crucial nuggets would I be left with? Here are the answers I settled on:
3 Reasons Why a Marriage Works:
1. A marriage works when two people are more committed to honoring God and their marriage vows than they are to serving their personal happiness. Marriage isn't all happiness and romance, so a couple has to be committed to stick it out through the tough times.
2. A marriage works when both people look for ways to serve, love, and honor each other. Selfishness cannot exist in a successful marriage. Each person should have the attitude of "how can I show love and respect to my spouse today?"
3. A marriage works when it's guarded diligently from potential wreckers -- coming from outside sources or internal (heart) sources. Both spouses should guard against any other human relationship usurping the place only their partner should have. And both must guard against bitterness, unforgiveness, or a critical attitude that can tear a marriage apart from the inside.
What would be your top three? Or what have I left out? Your thoughts, please!
I had to think about this for a little bit. Marriage advice articles are a dime a dozen online. But if I had to boil down all those blog articles (including my own), all the books I've read, all the radio broadcasts I've heard on the topic, what crucial nuggets would I be left with? Here are the answers I settled on:
3 Reasons Why a Marriage Works:
1. A marriage works when two people are more committed to honoring God and their marriage vows than they are to serving their personal happiness. Marriage isn't all happiness and romance, so a couple has to be committed to stick it out through the tough times.
2. A marriage works when both people look for ways to serve, love, and honor each other. Selfishness cannot exist in a successful marriage. Each person should have the attitude of "how can I show love and respect to my spouse today?"
3. A marriage works when it's guarded diligently from potential wreckers -- coming from outside sources or internal (heart) sources. Both spouses should guard against any other human relationship usurping the place only their partner should have. And both must guard against bitterness, unforgiveness, or a critical attitude that can tear a marriage apart from the inside.
What would be your top three? Or what have I left out? Your thoughts, please!
Saturday, April 18, 2015
Top Five Jamaica Favorites + One
A decade ago, I first traveled to Jamaica with my then-fiance, now-husband. I remember leafing through the pages of his childhood photo album, noting the missionaries and ministry guests often seen in and out of Conroy's home, influencing his growing-up years. In that moment, nearly 10 years ago, a vision emerged in my mind of getting to share with our children this spiritual legacy. And now, 10 years later, our almost-five-year-old daughter is at an age where she can begin to understand the legacy she's privileged to have. She's a second-generation PK on both sides. Her legacy is rich. She gets to witness and participate in worshiping God from two different cultural perspectives, shaping her from an early age.
Hands-down my favorite part of our Jamaica visits.
In addition to this rich spiritual legacy, here are my Top Five Favorites about Jamaica:
1. The heartfelt, exuberant worship in church -- nothing thrills my soul more than worshiping with brothers and sisters in Christ especially in another culture -- there's no greater bonding experience!
2. Warm, tropical nights -- no hint of cold in the air, but a perfect reprieve from the hot days.
3. The white gauzy curtains against the wooden slats in the windows of Conroy's childhood home billowing in the breeze, lending an aura of coolness, even if no cool air is actually felt. Just looking at them refreshes psychologically, if not physically.
4. Jacie's exuberant delight in the beach. She's not much for the water, but loves playing tag with the smallest, lapping waves on the seashore and building "sandcastles."
5. The food! Ackee, saltfish, jerk chicken, pumpkin rice, juicy mango, breadfruit, plantain, oxtail, hardo bread, spicy bun and Tastee cheese.... my mouth is watering!
Hands-down my favorite part of our Jamaica visits.
In addition to this rich spiritual legacy, here are my Top Five Favorites about Jamaica:
1. The heartfelt, exuberant worship in church -- nothing thrills my soul more than worshiping with brothers and sisters in Christ especially in another culture -- there's no greater bonding experience!
2. Warm, tropical nights -- no hint of cold in the air, but a perfect reprieve from the hot days.
3. The white gauzy curtains against the wooden slats in the windows of Conroy's childhood home billowing in the breeze, lending an aura of coolness, even if no cool air is actually felt. Just looking at them refreshes psychologically, if not physically.
4. Jacie's exuberant delight in the beach. She's not much for the water, but loves playing tag with the smallest, lapping waves on the seashore and building "sandcastles."
5. The food! Ackee, saltfish, jerk chicken, pumpkin rice, juicy mango, breadfruit, plantain, oxtail, hardo bread, spicy bun and Tastee cheese.... my mouth is watering!
Monday, March 9, 2015
Thankful for Disappointment
Tonight as I hit the "end call" button on my cell phone after a "goodnight" conversation with my husband away at a pastors' conference, I thought back to our dating phone calls.
In particular, I remembered one call when Conroy was away recruiting for the college during the year we dated. I remember hanging up feeling disappointed. Disappointed that nothing "magical" had happened in that particular phone call. We talked, but he was a bit distracted or perhaps I was a bit needy. Either way, my ego wasn't soothed. The in-love feelings weren't bubbling at the conversation's end. Nothing bad happened -- no argument or disagreement -- I just felt flat afterwards, deflated somehow. I remember analyzing my feelings after the phone call last night and coming to these important and far-reaching realizations:
1. An emotional "high" is not the norm. If my expectations for my (then future) husband included him stoking up burning romantic feelings every time we interacted, I was in for a lifetime of disappointment. No single individual can keep us in the "in-love" state forever. That's just not a realistic expectation.
2. Real love is steady. The fact that I usually did come away from our conversations elated, bubbly, and in love means that I'm blessed and we are blessed by a great love that's nearly always burning brightly. But it doesn't mean that "flat" or "blah" times won't come. The ebb and flow of emotions is reality. High pitched, fevered excitement can't be maintained perpetually, but
3. Phone calls are not my thing. I'm very glad that much of our dating took place face-to-face, We lived and worked on the same college campus, so we saw each other daily, even often throughout the day. These occasional road trips and resultant time apart requiring phone calls were rare and not the typical form of communication in our dating relationship.
So tonight as I hung up the phone after an "unspecial" phone call, I am thankful for the lesson of disappointment learned while dating. My love for my husband does not burn hot or cold dependent on him stroking my ego or fanning the flames of romance all the time. And I've long since released him from the unhealthy expectation of having to intuitively fulfill my every desire (what an impossible burden that would be!). After nearly 10 years together, I know now with much more certainty than I did at the end of that long-ago phone call that the truth of our relationship does not hinge on butterflies after each conversation.
Advice to Dating Couples: Date long enough so you experience some disappointment -- whether it's with each other or with "love" itself. Then reflect on the cause of the disappointment. Is it a character issue in your partner or is it your own expectation that needs to be evaluated? Allow dating to be a time of learning, then apply those lessons learned to your marriage should you marry.
In particular, I remembered one call when Conroy was away recruiting for the college during the year we dated. I remember hanging up feeling disappointed. Disappointed that nothing "magical" had happened in that particular phone call. We talked, but he was a bit distracted or perhaps I was a bit needy. Either way, my ego wasn't soothed. The in-love feelings weren't bubbling at the conversation's end. Nothing bad happened -- no argument or disagreement -- I just felt flat afterwards, deflated somehow. I remember analyzing my feelings after the phone call last night and coming to these important and far-reaching realizations:
1. An emotional "high" is not the norm. If my expectations for my (then future) husband included him stoking up burning romantic feelings every time we interacted, I was in for a lifetime of disappointment. No single individual can keep us in the "in-love" state forever. That's just not a realistic expectation.
2. Real love is steady. The fact that I usually did come away from our conversations elated, bubbly, and in love means that I'm blessed and we are blessed by a great love that's nearly always burning brightly. But it doesn't mean that "flat" or "blah" times won't come. The ebb and flow of emotions is reality. High pitched, fevered excitement can't be maintained perpetually, but
true, committed love sustains us when the sparks don't fly.
3. Phone calls are not my thing. I'm very glad that much of our dating took place face-to-face, We lived and worked on the same college campus, so we saw each other daily, even often throughout the day. These occasional road trips and resultant time apart requiring phone calls were rare and not the typical form of communication in our dating relationship.
So tonight as I hung up the phone after an "unspecial" phone call, I am thankful for the lesson of disappointment learned while dating. My love for my husband does not burn hot or cold dependent on him stroking my ego or fanning the flames of romance all the time. And I've long since released him from the unhealthy expectation of having to intuitively fulfill my every desire (what an impossible burden that would be!). After nearly 10 years together, I know now with much more certainty than I did at the end of that long-ago phone call that the truth of our relationship does not hinge on butterflies after each conversation.
Advice to Dating Couples: Date long enough so you experience some disappointment -- whether it's with each other or with "love" itself. Then reflect on the cause of the disappointment. Is it a character issue in your partner or is it your own expectation that needs to be evaluated? Allow dating to be a time of learning, then apply those lessons learned to your marriage should you marry.
I'm still reaping the benefits of lessons learned while dating 10 years later!
 |
| THEN |
 |
| NOW |
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Jacie's To Do List
A recent genius idea that my husband came up with is a to-do list for Jacie. She is in love with the concept.
Every morning before he leaves for work (or sometimes the night before), he writes up a list like the one above.
Jacie gets so excited about reading what she has to do next, then crossing each item off as she finishes it. I am so excited about mornings when she's almost completely self-occupied, working independently, while I get some household chores done, sleep in, or have some personal Bible time/blogging time (like right now!).
The list usually contains the same items: morning chores, Bible reading and prayer, reading a specified amount of books, playing, screen time, and "schoolwork" (math or letter tracing/copying worksheets). The order of the last few items may vary, and Conroy usually changes the amount of books she reads daily, too -- adding one each day.
Math Bonus: As she was counting out her seven books in her room this morning, I heard her say (To her doll? Or to herself?) "Did you know that 6 +1 = 7?" Wow! I love hearing her mind at work!
And this is "homeschooling" in a nutshell for us, folks!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)