Worsening PCOS symptoms lead to more doctor's visits which leads to the inevitable decision: Clomid or not? I like to think that I gave the natural route a fair shake -- two years and two different nutritionists before Jacie was born, and now radical diet changes to work on getting my body back on the right track. I still plan to be as natural as possible in my diet and way of life. But the fact of the matter is that I will be 37 this year and if I'm to have a child biologically, the window of time is narrowing.
So we will see.
We will see what the ultrasound results and blood work show.
We will see how my body reacts to Clomid.
We will see if I can conceive another child.
If not, we'll pursue adoption. The large $$$ amount involved in adoption and excessive red tape/paperwork are so very daunting to me. But if God closes the door firmly on more biological children for us, I have to believe it is because He wants us to be involved in the rescue of orphans.
Trusting and waiting = The story of my life. But it doesn't seem to get easier with each roadblock.
Each doctor's visit feels emotional, burdensome, weighty -- as in a physical pressure pushing down on my shoulders, making each step come sluggishly.
The second-guessing, swirling mental questions come at every juncture. Which method/advice/ "doctor's orders" should I follow? It's not cut and dried. There's no neon sign. There's no risk-free option.
So I lean heavily on Jesus. I trust Him. I cannot see the way. But He can, and He's there already.
Friday, March 29, 2013
When Jesus Wept: book review
Fitting for this Easter weekend, I've just finished reading When Jesus Wept by Brock & Bodie Thoene, provided to me as a complimentary copy by Booksneeze. I've always enjoyed the Thoene duo, especially since reading their early WWII books. I haven't read anything by this pair in awhile, and the title caught my attention. The story of Jesus' earthly ministry is told by Lazarus in this fictional account. The Thoenes effectively weave in analogies of the the vine and the branches to the Christian life, casting Lazarus as a successful vineyard grower.
To be granted such an intimate, up close look at Jesus through the eyes of one of his closest earthly friends was very moving. Love for Jesus leaped off the page as I experienced Him through Lazarus's character. I so greatly admire the passionate skill of the Thoenes for portraying Jesus with the warmth and reverence they did. While the book at times felt less like a novel and more like a retelling of Jesus' teachings, the sweet closeness the reader gets to experience with our Lord makes the book well worth the read.
To be granted such an intimate, up close look at Jesus through the eyes of one of his closest earthly friends was very moving. Love for Jesus leaped off the page as I experienced Him through Lazarus's character. I so greatly admire the passionate skill of the Thoenes for portraying Jesus with the warmth and reverence they did. While the book at times felt less like a novel and more like a retelling of Jesus' teachings, the sweet closeness the reader gets to experience with our Lord makes the book well worth the read.
Friday, March 1, 2013
Book Review: The Sky Beneath My Feet
The Sky Beneath My Feet by Lisa Samson was provided to me as a complimentary copy by Booksneeze. When her pastor husband retreats to the backyard shed in a self-proclaimed vigil, Beth finds herself in a crisis of faith of her own. In an effort to come to grips with her husband's odd move, Beth joins forces with a protest group, seeks advice from her best friend, and attempts to cope with the struggles of raising teen boys by herself. These efforts and her brother's unexpected plea for help all combine to launch Beth on a journey of discovery -- a journey that leads to a unique mission of her own.
I must admit the first three-fourths of the book caused a fair amount of consternation and head-scratching on my part. Lisa Samson tells a good story and certainly creates lifelike, believable characters that appeal to the reader. The consternation I felt was at the seeming spiritual shallowness of the main characters. Especially for a ministry couple, their lack of appreciation for the Christian faith was disturbing to me. That Beth found more in common with a group of unsaved, even atheistic political protesters seemed odd to me. Rather than depicting Beth's negativity toward church and all things Christian as a result of her crisis of faith, the book seemed to portray this kind of talk and behavior as a common occurrence, both with her husband in the past and with her church employee friend. Thankfully, the book reached a positive conclusion with both Beth and her husband coming to a real understanding of God's calling for their lives. All in all, it was an entertaining read if the reader can hang on through the ride.
I must admit the first three-fourths of the book caused a fair amount of consternation and head-scratching on my part. Lisa Samson tells a good story and certainly creates lifelike, believable characters that appeal to the reader. The consternation I felt was at the seeming spiritual shallowness of the main characters. Especially for a ministry couple, their lack of appreciation for the Christian faith was disturbing to me. That Beth found more in common with a group of unsaved, even atheistic political protesters seemed odd to me. Rather than depicting Beth's negativity toward church and all things Christian as a result of her crisis of faith, the book seemed to portray this kind of talk and behavior as a common occurrence, both with her husband in the past and with her church employee friend. Thankfully, the book reached a positive conclusion with both Beth and her husband coming to a real understanding of God's calling for their lives. All in all, it was an entertaining read if the reader can hang on through the ride.
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