Marriage Books: the Good, the Bad, and the Inadequate

I've been on a marriage book binge lately.  It was precipitated by the discovery that our local library finally had acquired the top three marriage books that had been on my wish list for about the last three years. Three different marriage books by three very different (stylistically speaking) Christian authors --- practically begs a blog post!

Marriage books are not a new obsession with me.  As a teenager, I combed the bookshelves of my father's pastoral counseling library for marriage books, counseling books, even parenting books.  This obsession led to a four-year college degree majoring in Biblical Counseling, so great was my fascination with the topics of people, relationships, and problems. While life has led me down a path other than counseling as a vocation, I still gravitate unswervingly to the marriage section in any bookstore, unable to stifle the need to read another marriage book.

Twenty plus years of reading marriage books means that I've read much of what's out there -- the overly simplistic, the formulaic, the deeply theological, the philosophical, the practical.  Life experience, close-up observation, and the test of time has weighed the balance of these books and found many of them wanting. Some have great communication tips, but not much depth for deep-rooted marital issues.  Some offer lofty ideals but few practical steps to translate principles into reality.  I often find myself wanting to recommend one chapter from this book, and another chapter from that one, but rarely any whole book.  Conroy and I often recommend one of each -- one with a basic, "common sense" type of approach and one that gives underpinning theological truth necessary to the deeper, nitty-gritty realities of marriage. (Currently, those are For Women Only and For Men Only by the Feldhahns and When Sinners Say I Do by Dave Harvey, respectively -- for those who are curious.)

The bottom line in all this marriage book reading is this:  Marriage is about the Gospel.  The better we understand the Gospel -- that we (both me and my spouse) are sinners in need of a Savior, that we are deeply, freely, sacrificially forgiven -- the better we will demonstrate grace and forgiveness to each other. The books that spend time on this concept are the best books because they understand the truth of it. Communication tips help, love languages uplift, date nights rejuvenate, but only the Gospel has the power to change you and me and our marriages.

Feedback, please:  What's the best marriage book you've read and why?