July of 2005 brought a wedding (not mine) -- my brother married his California bride in San Jose. My family made plans to fly out and spend an extra week after the wedding as family vacation time, sightseeing and touring the Bay area. I said goodbye to Conroy, making arrangements with him to pick me up from the airport upon my return. I still wasn't sure how I felt about him. I felt no closer to any concrete decision about moving forward in a relationship with Conroy than I had on the day he told me of his feelings.
"He's just a friend," I assured my inquisitive aunt one night in our hotel room upon ending yet another two-hour conversation with Conroy. "Hmmm, " she murmured cryptically. "You don't spend two hours on the phone every night with 'just a friend.'" This statement stuck like a burr in my mind. And so did Conroy. Being away, not seeing him every day as I was used to doing since we worked together and lived on the same campus --- I realized how inextricably my life had become woven with his. He was my best friend already. I wanted to share every part of my day with him (thus the long phone conversations). But was this enough?
The words of a good friend of mine echoed in my head: "Conroy is one of the godliest guys I've ever met! I don't know if I've ever been around someone so passionate about God!" Her words had nudged me a bit out of my complacency. If I didn't make a decision soon, perhaps some other wonderful, more deserving girl (like my friend) would snatch him up! Her statement also prompted the memory of my list of qualities in an ideal guy written as a teenager -- passion for God and passion for people topped the list. Anyone who knew Conroy at all knew that he exuded those qualities. What else could I possibly want or ask for? A tiny thrill of fear/excitement shivered through me. Could he actually be the one God had for me? What if I made the wrong decision and let this amazing man slip away?
I enjoyed the time away, relishing time with family and friends, rejoicing with my brother in his happiness. The unintended result of this time apart for Conroy and me proved to be helpful in giving me the clarity I was looking for. At least, I began to see myself as leaning more toward saying "yes" than not.
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