The Start of Something Big

Before I left for California, Conroy asked if I had plans for my birthday.  That year my birthday fell in the middle of the work week, so I had no plans on that day, though my parents were planning to make the hour and a half drive to take me out on the weekend.  Conroy warned me not to make any other plans, but that he wanted to take me out after work on my birthday.  He told me to think about where I saw myself in 5-10 years and what my life goals were.  He surely knew the way to my heart! I was looking forward to an evening of great conversation, excited at the thought of sharing goals and dreams with someone as interested and interesting as Conroy.  I knew his thoughtful, probing questions and insightful comments would make for meaty, "level five" communication that I so valued.

My brother's wedding took place less than a week before my birthday.  So when Conroy came to pick me up from the airport, my birthday was only a few days away.  No great ephiphanies or melodramatic movie airport reunion scenes occurred. In fact, our reunion left me a bit nonplussed. Had I been over romanticizing our connection? Should I just tell Conroy right now that it's never going to happen, that my feelings weren't what his were?  Once again, I uttered the prayer I'd been praying for the past month, " God, please flip the switch if this relationship is meant to be! This guy is everything I have always wanted and more, but I need to feel more than just friendship for him in order to take the next step."

The day of my birthday arrived.  Conroy took me to a local park, surprising me by planning a picnic dinner.  He put the chicken on the grill to cook and I settled on the picnic table bench, chatting as he lit the coal. Deep in conversation as the evening wore on, we scarcely noticed that the chicken wasn't cooking until, as darkness descended, a park ranger came to tell us the park was closing.  We took our undercooked chicken, packed our uneaten picnic dinner, and left for Denny's.  Over our belated supper, at one point in the conversation, Conroy leaned toward me and said intently, "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." I don't remember my verbal response, but I remember that moment with a spellbound clarity.  And, in my heart, deep down, I knew for certain, too, that this was the man with whom I wanted to be in a life long conversation.

Later that already late evening (probably more like 1 or 2 AM), we paused on the stone bench outside of the restaurant, almost unconsciously resisting the inevitable ending to our evening.   Of those last few minutes of conversation, I remember little except that, watching Conroy as he talked, all I wanted was for him to kiss me.  And, in that moment, I knew --- the switch had flipped.