The Scarlet Cord

Provided to me as a complimentary copy by Booksneeze, The Scarlet Cord by Joan Wolf fleshes out the life of Rahab, the Old Testament heroine who saved the spies in Jericho and whose life was spared in return.  Ms. Wolf depicts Rahab as a young, innocent beauty who is mistakenly assumed to be a harlot by the Israelites since she is a Canaanite.  Rahab and Sala (the Hebrew man, Salmon) fall in love, but are thwarted by their differing backgrounds and resulting family resistance.  Due to Rahab's role in saving the spies, she wins Sala's father's grudging acceptance, and her family, too, comes around when it becomes obvious that Yahweh is the one true God as Jericho's walls fall.

I appreciate Biblical historical fiction because it allows me to imagine what the men and women of the Bible we're thinking  and feeling as the drama of major Biblical events plays out.  Usually these types of fictional works motivate me to reread the Scripture passage with a greater awareness.  Unfortunately, author Joan Wolf's interpretation of Rahab fell so far off the mark of the Bible narrative that I didn't even bother to revisit the Biblical account.   The Bible clearly states that Rahab was a harlot, not once but several times. This is one of the beautiful examples in Scripture of God redeeming people who are unworthy.  It is a story of forgiveness and redemption, of saving to the uttermost.  Wolf's depiction of Rahab as a virginal young girl not only misses a key point of the Biblical account but also seems to call into question the veracity of the Scriptural description of Rahab.  For this reason, though the story was well written and an interesting read, I can not in good conscience recommend The Scarlet Cord. 

Jacie Milestones

Changes happen so quickly.  The cooing baby become the babbling toddler; then the babbling toddler becomes the semi-articulate little girl.  At 2 1/2 years old, Jacie seems to be in the latter stage mentioned.  Lately, every sentence out of her mouth, every conversation has amazed me.  So this entry is my attempt to record some of her recent statements and developments.

One of my favorite recent revelations occurred as we pulled into the garage and I turned off the car, shutting off her Bible songs CD in mid-verse:  "Believe in the....."  From the backseat, Jacie's baby voice chimes in, finishing the verse, "...Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved."  Word for word, just like that!  I'm astounded and humbled by the great responsibility of keeping her little mind alive with God's Word.

Jacie has picked up on adult conversation quite well.  She politely asks our international student at dinner time, "So, Yunah, how was school?"  She loves to use her manners, unfailingly exclaiming, "Bless you, Mommy!"  whenever I sneeze.  When I reply with a slightly startled, "Thank you, Jacie,"  she cheerfully chimes back, "You're welcome, Mommy!"  This little vignette plays out as many times in a row as I happen to sneeze.  

Pronunciation at this age is adorable, too.  "Please" comes out "Queeeeze" most of the time, "Joseph" is "Jophus,"  "Mickey Mouse" is "Gickey Mouse," and this morning "More sausage, please" came out "More os-tich, queeeze!"

One of the most recent heart-warming moments happened yesterday when I went in her bedroom to get her up from her nap.  Upon my entrance into the room, Jacie exclaimed, "I'm so happy to see you, Mommy!"

Jacie loves to joke and laugh.  Her sense of humor is corny and contagious.  She interjects "Are you kidding me?" into dinnertime conversation whenever she wants us laugh with her.  She points to items and asks an absurd question like "Is that Dora?"  Then crinkles up her nose and crows with laughter, saying, "Noooo, that's not Dora!"

Naptime lately means at least an hour of laughing, jumping, singing every song she knows, reciting every phrase from her favorite show ("O Toodles"  from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and "We did it; we did it!"  from Dora) until she sometimes tires herself out enough to fall asleep.  I don't care; I'm not giving up on naptime.  I need that time for me!  

Ministry Moments

To be honest, Thursday nights are not usually my favorite night of the week.  Maybe it's the rush to put dinner on the table, then leave the mess behind to rush out the door to teach ESL at 6:30 (the students so make this ministry a joy!).  Maybe it's coming home to the dinner mess still there, only now with a living room full of young adults poring over their Bibles under Conroy's enthusiastic leadership.  Maybe it's the inevitable late night followed by an early morning in the classroom.  Don't get me wrong; there's nothing I'd rather be doing than serving with my husband, teaching, and opening our home for Kingdom purposes.  And typically the initial inward groaning of this introvert-at-heart gives way to whole-hearted interaction.  It just takes me a moment.

But tonight... Tonight I felt it.  I felt the soul-deep satisfaction of doing what we are put on this earth to do.  I felt the bit of heaven on earth that ministry can sometimes be --- the moment when you feel that all you're doing is really making a difference, and you actually see and feel that difference.  The moment when eternal impact is felt.

Tonight I saw it.  I saw it in the bright, upturned face of one who is seeing the purpose in her heartache. I saw it in the dawning of realization in the eyes of a young believer when he heard "there's no longer condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus" for the first time.

Tonight I heard it.  As I put away the dishes in the kitchen, the buzz of God-focused conversation sounded to me like the hallelujah chorus from Handel's Messiah.  I heard the rustle of the angels of heaven bending close to look into the things of grace they don't understand.

Tonight was a moment framed in gold, imprinted on my mind and heart, tucked away for pondering.  This is it.  This is why I do what I do, why I am what I am, why I married whom I married.  Our lives are all about God's Word and God's people, but the daily ordinary often feels less than significant. But tonight the ministry moment was tangible, the joy of it transcendent.

Colossians and Cravings

Two recent shaping forces in my inner life of late --- an online study of Colossians and a personal read of Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst.  The Colossians blog renewed my desire for writing/ blogging and for studying God's Word (nothing better than combining the two!).  Not sure what direction that renewed desire will take but this post is one step to get back into blogging.  Perhaps reinventing my blog approach is in order as well. As far as group study goes, I'm looking forward to doing the Good Morning Girls Advent study with a small group of ladies from my church.  So excited!

Made to Crave struck a nerve that the skeptic in me had tried to downplay.  This book slapped the "I've heard it all before" attitude right out of me and brought me to my knees in humility.  Two convicting concepts from the book:
1. "To him who knows what is right and doesn't do it, it is sin." No amount of chalking my failures up to lack of discipline or lack of strength can sugarcoat the reality that I am choosing to sin since I know how I should be eating. I've read extensively on the subject and understand the dangers of unhealthy eating.  Not liking to cook = choosing to be lazy instead doing what I know is right.  Consuming that sugary treat  = sin if its not in my calorie count/ budgeted eating.  Hard stuff, but it's truth smacking me upside the head.
2.   My struggles are my reality.  God chose to place this particular struggle in my life, knowing I'd either be self- indulgent or unsympathetic to others' struggles if I didn't have to work hard at maintaining a healthy lifestyle.  Just as it's wrong for me to look at other women with envy who don't struggle with infertility, it's wrong for me to be jealous of those who don't struggle with weight issues.  God's plan for my life is just that -- His plan for me -- unique, individualized, and shaped to produce the exact work He wants done in my life, a work that could be completed in no other way, through no other means. So food/weight issues are His gift to me? Sure, in the same way that my infertility is and my singleness was God's gift, specially and specifically crafted to transform me into the image of His Son.

So here am I am, struggles and all, stripped of excuses.  The question remains, what will I do with the truth I've been given?

Isle of Shadows: book review

Provided as a complimentary copy by Booksneeze, Isle of Shadows proved to be everything it promised.  Set in the turbulent and obscure times of the "silent" period (between the Old and New Testaments), Isle of Shadows described the sad but riveting life of Tessa, a high-class prostitute to a key political figure on a Greek island.  Despite Tessa's best attempts to seal off her heart, an elderly Jewish servant wins her trust and demonstrates Yahweh's love to her during her time of deepest need. The love of the One True God and of a young man of character eventually win Tessa over and help her to face the formidable forces seeking to destroy her.

Tracy Higley is becoming a real favorite of mine.  Her writing is polished and nuanced, feeding the reader meaty Scriptural truths while capturing attention through rich detail and characterization.  Tessa's internal transformation speaks to any reader who is struggling with guilt over the past and is looking for a fresh start and the healing power of forgiveness.  I especially liked the surprise Biblical historical character link to the Messiah revealed at the end of the book! Higley hits another home run in Isle of Shadows, for sure!

The Scent of Rain

The Scent of Rain by Kristin Billerbeck promised to be a light, fun read.  I chose this complimentary copy from Booksneeze just for that purpose.  The plot revolves around a young perfumeologist who loses her sense of smell just after being left at the altar by her groom-to-be.  After giving up her job in Paris for her would-be husband, she found herself stuck in Ohio working for a cleaning supply company.  The book traces her efforts to recover from her failed romance (by finding a new one, of course), to cover up her loss of smell, and to reestablish herself as a confident, independent woman without fiancé or parents to fall back on.

I had hoped for a light, witty read.  What I found were characters so one-dimensional they seemed cartoonish, dialogue and prose desperately stretched to make the scent of rain metaphor work, and turns of events so swift and unprecedented that my head spun trying to keep up.  A case in point was the office temptress painted as selfish and seductive who in one logic- defying scene suddenly turns out to be misunderstood, and in fact, quite selfless.  The final scene between the perfumeologist and her new man plays out exactly as it had occurred in a dream she had experienced earlier in the book though no particular relevance was given to any of the details including a clown's involvement.  Sometimes light reads are a fun diversion from meatier, more intricate plot lines.  Unfortunately, The Scent of Rain produced more groans than laughs.

Flame of Resistance: Book Review

Provided to me as a complimentary copy from Tyndale Publishers, Flame of Resistance portrayed an unlikely alliance of characters thrown together in the French Resistance Movement during Hitler's Third Reich.  An American pilot and a French prostitute reluctantly find themselves caught up in the Resistance Movement, but rise to the occasion as the urgency of the times pushes them to the forefront of a battle they never dreamed they'd be fighting.  Several other characters emerge as surprising Resistance participants, all combining to create a journey of unpredictable twists and turns that keep the reader guessing right up to the final chapter.

Though the complexity of the plot and the large amount of characters in the book made for a frustrating start, I was entirely hooked by the midpoint of the book and stayed up late to finish the book in one sitting. Author  Tracy Groot masterfully weaves an adventure story that appeals to the history buff, the romantic soul, and the action junkie.  I will definitely look for other books by this author in the future.

Broken Dreams, Beautiful Exchanges

Orphanage visits in Jamaica.  Coming home to our large, mostly empty house.  Wondering about God's plan for our family.  Will our home ever be filled with our children, adopted or biological (the latter seems less likely as time moves on)? Or is the Divine Exchange a home filled with ministry? As my 40s creep closer and the dream of a large family appears more elusive, I search for an explanation, an alternative.  The why behind the closed womb.  An answer to the daunting question of adoption (mounds of paperwork, red tape, waiting lists, and $$$ for international adoptions).

Down to the marrow of my bones, I believe that God's plan is the best plan.  But am I missing it?  Is the battle with infertility meant to push us to fill our home with children who need a home?  Or is it something else altogether since the means necessary for adoption doesn't seem forthcoming?  I am willing to exchange my dreams for God's best, whatever that is.  It's just the waiting and uncertainty that get to me every time.

Parking Lot Ponderings

A short exchange in the parking lot of the grocery store left me with a lot to ponder recently.  As I was putting groceries into the car, an older lady walking by jokingly asked where I found Jacie in the store and commented that she'd take 10 of her!  I laughed and made some reply.  The short conversation turned nostalgic fast as often happens when talking with a mom whose children are grown. She gave me the oft-repeated advice to enjoy each moment since they grow up so fast.  Her parting comment is the one that stuck with me.  She stated, "When they're adults, they don't even know you exist."  The mix of sharp bitterness and sadness in her tone filled me with deep sympathy for this mother (and all mothers) who've given their hearts and days to their children only to feel rejected by those same children in their old age. I wanted to shake the offending adult children of this aged mama, and castigate them for their neglect.

On further thought, as I drove away, I began to imagine possible rejoinders from these unknown adult children.  Perhaps their mother had contributed to the estrangement or lack of compassion in her adult children by the way she'd treated them while they were younger.  I thought of my mother and how my grown siblings and myself flock to her like a drove of bees to the queen bee when she's around.  Her manner of raising us and graciousness has drawn us to her even in our adult years rather than driving us away. The takeaway of the parking lot encounter for me was a challenge to win the heart of my daughter, not by being her buddy, but by being a woman she can respect and a mother who handles her daughter's heart with care.

Garden of Madness

Provided to me as a complimentary copy by Booksneeze, Garden of Madness gives the fictional account of Tiamet, Nebuchadnezzar's daughter who faces a web of royal intrigue during the time of Nebuchadnezzar's temporary insanity.  Scorned by her mother and desperately trying to escape another arranged, loveless marriage, Tiamet stumbles across a dangerous plot to usurp her father's throne while he's most vulnerable.  Throughout the story, Tiamet comes face-to-face with the Judean God, Yahweh.  She must choose His ways or succumb to the grip of the pagan gods who war for her soul.

Tracy Higley writes a fascinating historical fiction novel against the backdrop of one of the most captivating times in Biblical history.  I was gripped with the action and layers of plot development that unfolded throughout this story.  Higley is an author whose books I will read in the future.

Book Review: Covenant Child

Covenant Child by Terri Blackstock gripped me instantly and kept my attention from the first page to the book's final chapter.  Provided to me as a complimentary ebook copy from BookSneeze, Covenant Child describes the path of twin heirs savagely ripped from the arms of the only mother they'd known and given to relatives who only cared about the fortune the twins represented.  The little girls grew up in abject poverty and, left to their own devices while their grandparents squandered away their inheritance, developed survival skills including petty larceny and promiscuity.  Meanwhile, their loving stepmother watches from afar, anticipating the twins' eighteenth birthday when she can rejoin their lives and guide them to take over the greater inheritance that awaits them.

Blackstock's book is an eloquent modern-day parable of our destitute state before being made joint-heirs with Christ through salvation.  The latter half of the book also carries tones reminiscent of the Prodigal Son parable told by Jesus in the Gospels.  A quick and riveting read, Covenant Child will encourage the believing reader to revel in the mercies of our Great Father God, inspiring a fresh sense of thankfulness and insight into all that we have in Christ.

Book Review: A Jamaican's Journey to Time and Patience

Provided as a complimentary copy to me by Booksneeze,  A Jamaican's Journey is one man's recounting of his multi-cultural roots and upbringing.  Derrick shares his struggles to belong, to feel accepted and loved, and to make something of his life.  Derrick describes his conversion to Christ in high school as being the turning point of his life.  However, this pivotal decision does not prevent him from experiencing further heartache and floundering throughout his adult life.

Derrick writes with raw, unvarnished honesty in an almost confessional manner.  He relates incidents including the minutest detail, perhaps as a testament to his memory.  The agonies of his family history cause the reader to sympathize with Derrick, but those sympathies begin to turn to frustration as Derrick seems to perpetuate the cycle of family dysfunction in his own families despite his conversion to Christ.  Forgiveness and reconciliation between Derrick, his parents, and his siblings is described, but real life change seems to be missing from Derrick's own life.  Derrick himself proclaims the book to be more for his children, and I truly hope they will be able to learn from their family history and mistakes that were made.  On a more applicable note for the general audience, the history of Jamaica interwoven with the history of Derrick's ancestors makes for a colorful and informative educational experience for anyone interested in Jamaican culture.

Say the Name

A few months ago, Jacie started a new habit:  she repeats "Mommy, Daddy" periodically as she plays.  Perhaps it's a developmental thing --- repeating new words so they become ingrained into her brain.  But as this habit continued and I realized she wasn't calling for either of us, just saying our names, I began to ponder this verbal habit a bit more.  I know, I know -- I'm a bit over-analytical, but hear me out on this one.  Maybe it's more than just a developmental thing, maybe it's partially a security thing.  Who knows what goes through her little mind?  Perhaps reminding herself of our existence, our presence in her lives is soothing in some way.  Just reminding herself that all's right in her little world as long as Mommy and Daddy are a part of it.

And once again I learn a God lesson through the living visual aid of my daughter.  I'm struck with the idea of how the concept of just "saying the Name" works for me as a child of God.  How sweet the name of Jesus is and what comfort just saying His Name brings to my soul.  I don't know if I'm reading too much into my daughters verbalizations, but I enjoy the fresh reminder that God's Spirit brings to my heart from these moments!

Fiction for Real

Need You Now by Beth Wiseman was provided to me as a complimentary ebook through BookSneeze.  In Need You Now, Darlene faces the typical struggles of a mom with three teenagers.  She battles with her own sense of failure as she attempts to help her middle child combat an especially difficult emotional issue -- cutting.  Darlene's marriage is affected by this family crisis, and she comes to a crossroads in her faith and in her commitment to her husband during the course of the family's journey to recovery.

The real issues that Wiseman addresses through her work of fiction engage the reader from the start.  Darlene is a woman with real insecurities and needs to which any wife and mother may relate.  Her search for peace and fulfillment outside of and within her family pulls the reader in and keeps the reader cheering for this family until the sweet end.  A riveting read, Need You Now addresses real issues with an honest tone and hopeful tenor, pointing the reader to the One in Whom we have hope. For Beth Wiseman who is better known for her Amish fiction works, Need You Now may have been an out-of-the-box genre; however, this reviewer will be eagerly anticipating more books from Wiseman in the same vein as Need You Now.

Beauty for Ashes by Dorothy Love

Beauty for Ashes by Dorothy Love is a Christian historical fiction book that I received complimentary from BookSneeze.  The story of a young widow facing many obstacles including difficult family and financial situations unfolds during a turbulent time in our nation's history.  A handsome stranger to her small town catches the young widow's eye; however, the skeptical attitude of the locals and her "understanding" with a staid bookkeeper in town prevents our heroine from entering a relationship with the stranger.  Several turns-of-events proceed to change the town's attitude toward the stranger and to sever the widow's relationship with the bookkeeper.  Through a lot of heartache and turmoil, the widow and the stranger finally end up together, as expected in most romantic fiction.

I admired the spunk and non-typical attitude of the book's heroine.  She actually seemed a bit selfish and impatient at times, unlike the standard heroine of most Christian fiction romances.  Unfortunately, I didn't feel the author really brought all the pieces together well in this book.  I thought the heroine would recognize the error of her ways in some regard and improve, but only some subtle references indicated self-awareness on the main character's part.  In general, the book seemed to have several loose ends and multiple references to characters and events in a previous book, leaving me at a slight loss without having read the prequel.  Many events occurred that seemed unrelated and unnecessary or non-contributing to the main theme of Beauty for Ashes (the romance between widow and stranger).  All in all, the reader who enjoys the typical Christian romantic fiction fare may enjoy this book since that reader is not looking for complexity or even conclusiveness as long as the guy gets the girl.  However, the reader who is a little more selective may find that  beauty is in the eye of the beholder when it comes to Beauty for Ashes.

An Amish Farmer's Sign and Hope

As I travel a familiar, local route, I pass a simple sign outside a farmer's field that reads, "O Lord, it is nothing with Thee to help."  The straightforward plea strikes me every time, and I find its words replaying in my head during the week  -- "O Lord, it is nothing with Thee to help."

But sometimes it seems He doesn't.

Sometimes the crops are dry and harvest is scanty.

Sometimes the disease wins and the child dies.

Sometimes the much-prayed-for loved one makes the wrong decision anyway and suffers the hard consequences.

Sometimes the broken relationship remains unrestored, and the resulting hurt doesn't fade over time.

What then?  What do we do when the heartache of life seems greater than its joys?  How do we makes sense of the promise of the Lord's help?

Maybe, just maybe His help looks different than our preconceived notions of "help."  Perhaps He helps not by taking away the pain, but by holding us through it -- the way I "help" my child when she is scared of the dark.  I don't make the darkness go away, but instead, I hold her in my arms until she is comforted.  When the noise of the vacuum causes her to run to my arms, I don't always turn it off, but hold her while I finish cleaning. She is calmed, comforted, and "helped" as a result feeling safe and secure in my arms, not necessarily from the cessation of what caused her fear.

So when I look for help, I can find it in God.  He IS my help.

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone.  My hope comes from Him."  (Ps. 62:5)

This Thing of Ours by C. Franzese

In a very honest, conversational tone, Cammy Franzese, wife of notorious mobster Michael Franzese, tells of her journey of faith throughout a marriage of upheaval.  All marriages have their challenges, but not many face the uncertainty of possible arrest, jail visits, and house raids by the FBI.  During the eight or more years that Cammy's husband was in jail, she raised their three children alone while supporting her husband emotionally through frequent visits and phone conversations as their only means of contact.  Admittedly naive, Cammy married Michael as a youthful, idealistic twenty-year-old having no idea of the type of man he was and the life he'd led.  The shock of his long prison terms and close scrutiny by law enforcement would have overwhelmed their marriage were it not for the steady faith and support of Cammy's mother and Cammy's own determination to honor God in her marriage.

Cammy's story speaks eloquently of the commitment to marriage that is lost in today's narcissistic society.  I was moved and inspired by her decision to stand by her man regardless of his past and way it affected their present.  Refreshingly, Cammy even owned up to her personal responsibility in making the choice to marry a man she knew little about.  Despite her lack of discernment, God honored her commitment and support of her husband, and eventually used Michael in a great way to advance His kingdom.  The Franzese's story is not picture-perfect; it is very human and real. But it is exactly this element of openness that will draw the reader to the pages of This Thing of Ours: How Faith Saved My Mafia Marriage.  I so enjoyed the complimentary copy of this book provided by BookSneeze®.