The Evolution of a Friendship

October 2004 - June 2005 proved to be a difficult time for me emotionally.  I was 28 and still single, struggling as never before with this reality.  A couple of prospects appeared on the scene, but both were obviously wrong for me.  Conroy moved on (apparently reading my non-verbal signals quite accurately) and began dating someone else during that time as well.  Throughout the year, we maintained our friendship, continuing to run together, brainstorming and collaborating on ideas for our respective dorms and the college students in our charge.

In May of 2005, a couple of key conversations pushed open the door in my mind allowing me to see Conroy in a new light.  The first conversation took place over an impromptu Chinese dinner at a local hole-in-the-wall diner.  I was vacillating over ending a relationship with the latest guy, discussing with Conroy my concerns (his own dating relationship had ended by this time, as well).  He wisely and succinctly cut through my rationalizations and pointed out a very real concern. Worded carefully, yet so full of truth, the clarity of his statement stopped me in my tracks.  As I nodded my head in concession to Conroy's point, I could hear the proverbial nail hammering the coffin shut on any potential relationship with the guy we were discussing. At the same time, I found myself respecting Conroy's wisdom and becoming more aware of the influence his opinion had on me.

Another incident where I turned to Conroy for wisdom and direction occurred over a sticky situation in the women's dorm where I was partially at fault.  Once again, his clear, direct advice hit home, and I resolved the issue as he advised, recognizing the wisdom of his words.

 For me, these incidents were important turning points in my realization that Conroy was someone I could respect and follow.  Like most women, I wanted a strong leader as a life mate. I knew I would find it hard to follow someone whose opinion I did not respect.  It was rare for me to seek advice of any male outside of my own family.  So the very fact that I found myself turning to Conroy for guidance was especially significant to me.  My relationship with Conroy had moved from one of him seeking me out for advice (as a new RD), to a peer working relationship, to friendship, and now to viewing him as a spiritual leader.