On August 6, 2005, two days after that fateful birthday outing, we officially started dating. On that night, in the little office which Conroy and I used alternately after hours to complete online grad school work, the discussion inevitably turned to our status as a couple. Much debate and conversation had already been expended regarding the effect our relationship would have on the student body. Being in a highly visible position on a small campus had its drawbacks with regard to us dating. The last thing I wanted was to go through a big, emotional break up in front of a campus full of students and faculty! In addition, we would still have to work together. Even being "on display" throughout the dating process was enough to give me second thoughts! But underneath these discussions ran the barely acknowledged certainty that this relationship would not end. So certain was I of Conroy's character and calling that I remember thinking if I date him, we will probably get married.
For most people, the dating stage is used as the time to get to know each other. It has its awkward moments, its attempts to impress and "put one's best foot forward," its fights and quarrels in an effort to learn to communicate with one another. For us, our friendship allowed us to surpass most of these things. I am so grateful to God for this! Once we entered the dating stage, it would have been hard to honestly get to know each other without the cloud of physical attraction and other pressures distracting us. Because we had already spent a lot of time communicating and getting to know each other minus the rose-colored glasses, we had a fair idea of what we were getting into. In addition, we already knew that each had the certain qualities and qualifications that the other was looking for in a spouse. Each of us had felt the call of God individually on our lives for full-time ministry so we knew that we were looking for spouses with ministry callings, as well. I say all this to explain that it wasn't blind love (or lust) that caused me to be so certain that I would marry Conroy from the outset of our dating relationship; it was a certainty built on the sure knowledge of his character and on the strong foundation of our friendship.
The day after we started dating, Conroy had dinner with my parents and me since they had already made plans to come to Binghamton to take me out for my birthday. Once again, it didn't seem weird or odd that he was meeting my parents so soon in our brand new relationship. My parents were simply getting to know my good friend, now boyfriend, quickly on his way to becoming the love of my life.
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