Ten-Year Plan

Not long into our dating relationship, Conroy and I began discussing marriage.  For reasons discussed in my previous post, we were fairly certain of the direction of our dating relationship.  My feelings that I had questioned so much over the summer of 2005 were blossoming at a rate that almost scared me.  I had never given my heart away before, had never allowed myself to fall in love completely.  I had always been a very guarded person in that way and had purposely never even allowed myself to say the words "I love you" to any man before, believing as I did (and do) that love is more than a feeling -- it is a commitment.

Though our feelings were strong and our confidence in one another certain, Conroy had long- term goals that he wanted to fulfill prior to marriage. He planned to finish his masters degree (in progress at this time), then go on to complete his Ph.D.  His estimate of completion of this plan was somewhere around 10 years.  When he first mentioned this to me, I laughed, not taking him seriously.    I was 29 years old.  I was not planning to wait 10 years to get married.  In addition, I strongly felt that dating for 10 years would be very unhealthy for us.  My response once I recognized his seriousness was "If you wait 10 years to get married, it won't be to me."

The other more practical obstacle to getting married sooner was Conroy's job situation.  He had come to the U.S. on a student visa and switched to a religious workers visa when the college hired him on as resident Director of the men's dorm.  The resident director position was not a paying position for either of us.  We lived in the dorms and provided supervision in exchange for free rent and free meals in the college cafeteria.  I had another full time job in addition to the begin RD, but Conroy's visa limited his work options.  Essentially, he had to stay only under the employ of the college to stay within the guidelines of his visa.  We weren't sure how probable it would be that a full time job would open up for Conroy given the small size of the college.

Only the first obstacle was under our control anyway, and after doing as much talking as I could to change Conroy's mind, I resolved to leave the entire situation in the Lord's hands.  I certainly didn't want to have to convince or talk Conroy into marrying me!  The Lord had been faithful in every aspect of our relationship up to this point, and I knew I could trust Him to lead us right at this crossroads as well.