Confession Time

Today has not been a good mama day.

I have been sharp when I should have just been firm.

I have been short when I should have been patient.

Sickness, irritation, and impatience won out over grace, love, and kindness.

I tried to make up for it, to sit down and play with my little girl after brushing her off too many times.

As I sat there and she pushed up against me yet again, crowding, jostling, elbowing -- I took a deep mental breath and vowed that I would not speak harshly to her for the next several minutes during our promised time together.

Within seconds I'd broken that promise.  Again.  And again.

Why?  Why is it that sheer grit and determination aren't enough to curb the errant tongue?  To master the deadly habit?  To rein in the stinging rebukes that fly too quickly?

for me at least the answer is to kill all self-righteousness.  

because I tend to think more highly of myself than I ought to.  I tend to feel a bit smug in my child-rearing ""skills," too confident in my general patience and calmness under most circumstances,  sure of my own strength and ability.

Until God gently reminds me that I am insufficient.  

                                                       I am in dire need of Him.  

                                  My sin is ugly and always with me, even when I am blind to it.  

Thank God that He opens my eyes to my sin so I can recognize my need.  

So I can fly to the mercy seat.  

So I can live intentionally in dependence of Him.