My Husband

Disclaimer:  I have been thinking about writing this post for some time; however, I have been reluctant to do so based on the very real fear that I will tread on an already sensitive area for many women.  I have been single so I know the pain of  reading/hearing others' accolades of their husbands.  I also know there are many women who struggle in difficult marriages.  I want my blog to be a source of encouragement, hope, and comfort.  The very last thing I want to do is to add insult to injury or salt to wounds.  So if you fear that will be you, please skip this blog post.

That being said, when the idea for "April Accolades" popped into my head the other day, I just knew I had to write this post.  The Bible talks about giving honor to whom honor is due. And the very subtitle of this blog references our love story and marriage.  So perhaps I shy away from the "marriage" aspect a bit too much due to a fear of being insensitive to others. 

ac·co·lade  (ăk′ə-lād′, -läd′)

n.        1.       a. An expression of approval; praise.

b. A special acknowledgment; an award.

2. A ceremonial embrace, as of greeting or salutation.

3. Ceremonial bestowal of knighthood.

tr.v. ac·co·lad·ed, ac·co·lad·ing, ac·co·lades

To praise or honor

One of the definitions of accolade and the history of the word comes from the idea of a ceremonial acknowledgment or award, even of knighthood.  Of all people, my husband deserves this kind of accolade. 

You see, to me, Conroy has been "Jesus with skin on." That's pretty much the highest praise I can offer, but it's true.   I know I didn't marry a perfect man, but the depth of love, grace, patience, and kindness Conroy demonstrates to me on a daily basis reminds me of Jesus.

I entered marriage with the very realistic expectation that it would take a lot of work. I even entered marriage with a fair amount of pessimism that we would soon discover previously unknown faults in one another, be annoyed by each other, and have to fight hard to maintain love, romance, and perhaps even friendship once we got past the "honeymoon" stage.  Such had been my general observation of most marriages. 

But none of that happened with us.  The first year went by and no sign of discontent, no grating annoyance, or lack of interest appeared. And I began to let it sink in that I had married a gem among men. 

When I say gem, I mean that Conroy is the kindest, most patient, most invested man I know. I could and do get mad over small, daily irritations, but he is unflappable.  I'm sure he must get annoyed at me, but in almost eight years of marriage, I've yet to see him express annoyance or irritation in any except the most mild-mannered rebuke.  And then I know I really deserve it if he says something.  He typically greets my occasional verbal rantings with calmness and grace, never retaliates in kind or holds a grudge.  I find this trait to be humbling and more convicting than a deserved lecture or retort.  

Life doesn't get him down and often I'll query in amazement, "That doesn't BOTHER you?!"  I get more upset on his behalf than he ever does in self-defense.  Headaches, rude people, insensitive comments, plans dashed -- all of this he takes in stride, calmly plowing on, showing love and grace in his attitude and behavior. 

In addition, Conroy takes our marriage seriously, and any request or complaint I have falls on receptive ears.  He takes to heart my opinions, thoughts, and reservations and honors our marriage and me by working at whatever the issue may be.  He is affectionate and fun, injecting life and humor and grace into our lives on a daily basis.  

I've known from the beginning that Conroy makes decisions carefully and wisely.  This trait was one of the leading factors that piqued my interest in him before we started dating.  Over the years of our marriage, I've come to respect and rest in his judgment on an even deeper level.  Just recently, I have been reminded again that every time he ends up acquiescing to me in a decision I'm insistent on, time proves that his hesitancies and inclinations were right, and that I should have followed his leading.  Yet he never takes me to task on those issues or displays any kind of "told-you-so" attitude.

Above all, he is my best friend.  We never run out of topics of conversation.  We discuss and debate theology, philosophy, current events, and ministry -- often into the wee hours of the morning.  He is the most interesting and interested person I know. Life with him is always an adventure, always fun.

I have been, and still fancy myself to be, an independent woman.  I could (and did) function without him.  But before him, by comparison, life was drab, colorless, and quiet; now it's full of life, color, and music.   

 I'm well aware of his faults, as he is mine -- just like any honest married couple.  But every day I can't wait to see him, and every day I feel overwhelmed with gratitude that I get to be in this life with Conroy as my husband.