Summer Sneak-Peek

Summer is here -- suddenly and gloriously.  It's the last week of K3 for Jacie, yet it seems that we've already packed in so much summer fun! And I'm ready.  I'm deliriously, giddily, excited-as-a-kid-at-Christmastime for SUMMER!

Knoebels was our first big "summertime" event.  As Jacie's first experience at a real (though kiddie-sized) amusement park, it was a big hit! Some highlights included:

With the end of the school year came closing ceremonies.  First was AWANA:

 Jacie finished her 3-year-old Cubbie book, so earned a plaque and ribbon.

And today was the last day of K3 party:

The warm weather has already invited downtown walks, ice cream consumption, outdoor cafe fun, and bike riding.

It's shaping up to be a great summer, and it's only just begun!!

Five Minute Friday: CLOSE

Close.  What qualifies as close?

Sharing intimate secrets with a sweet soul friend is close.  

Cuddling beneath a warm blanket, watching a movie with my husband is close.
                   
Feeling my three-year-old smashed up against me bumping my elbow as I work is close!

But in each of those moments, closeness is fleeting,  The next time we talk, my friend may fail to acknowledge my needs like she did in the previous conversation.  My husband may pause the movie to take a phone call and walk away, leaving me feeling bereft and neglected.  My three-year-old may be close in proximity, but is yet too young to minister to the needs of my heart.  Her closeness is all demand.

So to whom do I run when I desire more closeness than finite humans can possibly give?  I run to Jesus ~my soul's deepest Desire, my Friend.  And I remember:

"There is a friend Who sticks closer than a brother...."

"Routines and Rhythms"

How do I live, really LIVE, and not get bogged down by the daily grind?  The most freeing concept I've discovered in recent years is the idea of embracing the rhythms of my day.  More freeing than a "schedule" and nicer-sounding than "routine,"  "rhythm" has become my focus.  I gravitate more toward routine than chaos.  I like life to be structured and ordered.  However, I am NOT a Type -A personality and feel too stifled if routine becomes a rigid schedule with no flexibility.

In the book she co-authored, Sally Clarkson discusses finding and embracing the rhythms of your day.  Immediately, this concept resonated with me.  While not every moment of every day has to be planned out, certain times should be reserved for certain activities on a daily basis.  Our kids benefit from having routine in their lives, and we as moms and homemakers can find freedom in knowing that needs/tasks will be met at their appropriate times.  

In Sally's book Desperate, she gives this example:  The first hour of the morning might be a "tidy-up" time -- kid's rooms, breakfast dishes, laundry started.  Then the next clean-up time might be a 15-30 minute segment of time just before "Daddy" comes home.  Sally suggests putting music on and having all the kids help in cleaning up toys and other items strewn about from the day's activities.  

Sally emphasizes embracing your unique strengths and not letting someone else's schedule or routine dictate yours.  Some women love to spend lots of time in the kitchen -- finding a "rhythm" that allows you plenty of time to enjoy your passion will make you a better, happier wife, mother, and person!  Other women want more time to pursue outdoor activities with their kids, instilling in them in a love for nature, for God's handiwork in creation.  Relegating housekeeping tasks to certain portions of the day frees these women up to explore their interest and pass it on to their children.  

I love writing and I love reading.  I want Jacie to enjoy and be passionate about good books.  I also want her to love God through the outdoors, through Bible reading.  I desire for her to develop a ministry mindset -- a heart for serving others.  So how can I facilitate these things in her?  I also want her to have good work ethic, so I do see the value of her learning to do housework alongside me, as well.

Based on these values and priorities, the rhythms in my day look something like this:  

Mornings:  Breakfast and clean-up are the first hour of each day.  Then we go to the market or the library, run errands or do any visits in the morning -- so we are generally out and about in the mornings during the week.  

Afternoons:  I try to come home by noon so we can eat lunch, Jacie can play, then we read together before she takes a nap or at least has a quiet time in her room.  So the afternoons are quiet times -- I do my Bible study, and lesson plans, or blogging during those afternoon hours.  By the time she gets up, it's time to prep for supper. Sometimes she helps me and sometimes I let her get on the iPad (she has learning and reading apps on it, as well as short Bible songs and videos she's allowed to watch. 

Evenings:  After supper, I clean up and either run or we take a walk or play as a family until 7:30 when Jacie gets ready for bed.  We read together and pray together and the goal is to have her in bed between 8-8:30 (depending on whether or not she actually napped that day).  After Jacie's in bed, Conroy and I get a chance to re-connect.  (Thus the maxim that a kid's bedtime is really for the parents!)

Recognizing that I don't have to schedule out every hour of my day has been freeing to me in several ways:

1.  I don't spend my time with Jacie feeling guilty that I should be "accomplishing" something.

2. I am more able to fully embrace and enjoy down time.

3.  I am more productive during down time -- I don't have to choose between what I should do (clean or cook) and what I want to do (read or blog or lesson prep). 

4.  If the "unexpected" comes up, then we are flexible enough to embrace that, too.  

When I look back over my life  and in particular over these fleeting child-raising years, I want to look back on it as having been a "Mary" time, not a "Martha" time.  Though "Martha-like" days hit all of us at times , I want to know that I've spent my life sitting at His feet, seeing His face in the ordinary, hearing His voice in the laughter of my child -- and stopping to laugh with her.

What about you?  How to you keep your day vision-centered and not task-oriented?

Running

This morning I got to run -- doesn't happen often with a preschooler almost always at my hip and a husband who works long hours -- but this morning, I got to run.

I have a love - hate relationship with running.  In my teens and early twenties, it was all hate.  But in my late twenties, running became my catharsis -- my outlet for the stress of my day, my way of sorting out the desperation in my soul.  That's when I fell in love.  I fell in love with running right about the same time I fell in love with my husband-to-be as we ran together, solving the problems of the world as we ran. Each day, I couldn't wait to run!

Fast forward to now, 8 or 9 years later, running is again a love-hate relationship.  Some days I love it. Other days my spirit loves it, but my body hates it.

Today was a good run day -- not that my body didn't protest at times.  But today, I felt the strong breeze push against my body, and I pushed back.. Today, the warmth of the sun felt strong and sure, like my feet as they hit the pavement.  Today, the lilac-scented air breathed life in my lungs and energized me.  Today, running was me embracing summer, absorbing nature with all my senses.

Today, I loved running.

Dangerous Disappointment

My spirit aches and my hand stretches out -- feebly, not too obviously (Heaven forbid, I seem needy!)  And then it happens:  the sting of rebuff, the gesture ignored, supplication met with silence.


Disappointment.   Dashed expectations.

Looking for comfort and finding none.  

My soul cries out, "Where do I go for comfort, for relief?"  And His Spirit answers, "To Me, Child. I'm always the Best Answer, the Greatest Comforter, the most Faithful Friend."

And I wonder when I will learn to seek Him first. When will I learn that He's always near to the broken-hearted, that He understands the sting of reproach and hurt?

I feel the ache and groan of living in a fallen world, wrestling with my sinful go-to responses to being sinned against.  I hate the sting; I hate the heart response of bitterness that wells up in my heart so quickly.  I fight against these sinful heart responses, at the same time feeling the futility of the fight, the relentlessness of the battle.  It will rear its ugly head again.  I will fight the same battle again, maybe in another hour, maybe the next day.  Self, wounded pride, and pity are not enemies that die easily or quickly.

But Who have I in Heaven, but You, O Lord?  Who else shall I turn to? You are my Faithful Friend, the Healer of my heart, and the only One Who takes my sin away.

Be near to me now.

Five Minute Friday: MESS

I love the country song "What a Beautiful Mess I'm In!" because that describes the way I view the mess of my daughter's toys, 

                           of un-dusted shelves,

                                    of a sink piled with dishes, 

                                                of sauce spots on the linoleum, 

                                                          of toothpaste streaks on the bathroom mirror...

 It's a beautiful mess. 

A mess that represents a life spent more in soul-nurturing than in cleaning.  

A life spent sitting on the sofa reading favorite storybooks to my little girl.

A life spent opening our home to international students for whom cooking is a connection to home,.

A life spent talking and laughing with my husband in the evening hours instead of cleaning.  

No, my house isn't a pigsty.  I do clean sometimes.  But it's not spotless either.  And I'm okay with that.

Because I want my life to be more about the memories made in the mess than in existing in a sterile environment.