In the book she co-authored, Sally Clarkson discusses finding and embracing the rhythms of your day. Immediately, this concept resonated with me. While not every moment of every day has to be planned out, certain times should be reserved for certain activities on a daily basis. Our kids benefit from having routine in their lives, and we as moms and homemakers can find freedom in knowing that needs/tasks will be met at their appropriate times.
In Sally's book Desperate, she gives this example: The first hour of the morning might be a "tidy-up" time -- kid's rooms, breakfast dishes, laundry started. Then the next clean-up time might be a 15-30 minute segment of time just before "Daddy" comes home. Sally suggests putting music on and having all the kids help in cleaning up toys and other items strewn about from the day's activities.
Sally emphasizes embracing your unique strengths and not letting someone else's schedule or routine dictate yours. Some women love to spend lots of time in the kitchen -- finding a "rhythm" that allows you plenty of time to enjoy your passion will make you a better, happier wife, mother, and person! Other women want more time to pursue outdoor activities with their kids, instilling in them in a love for nature, for God's handiwork in creation. Relegating housekeeping tasks to certain portions of the day frees these women up to explore their interest and pass it on to their children.
I love writing and I love reading. I want Jacie to enjoy and be passionate about good books. I also want her to love God through the outdoors, through Bible reading. I desire for her to develop a ministry mindset -- a heart for serving others. So how can I facilitate these things in her? I also want her to have good work ethic, so I do see the value of her learning to do housework alongside me, as well.
Based on these values and priorities, the rhythms in my day look something like this:
Mornings: Breakfast and clean-up are the first hour of each day. Then we go to the market or the library, run errands or do any visits in the morning -- so we are generally out and about in the mornings during the week.
Afternoons: I try to come home by noon so we can eat lunch, Jacie can play, then we read together before she takes a nap or at least has a quiet time in her room. So the afternoons are quiet times -- I do my Bible study, and lesson plans, or blogging during those afternoon hours. By the time she gets up, it's time to prep for supper. Sometimes she helps me and sometimes I let her get on the iPad (she has learning and reading apps on it, as well as short Bible songs and videos she's allowed to watch.
Evenings: After supper, I clean up and either run or we take a walk or play as a family until 7:30 when Jacie gets ready for bed. We read together and pray together and the goal is to have her in bed between 8-8:30 (depending on whether or not she actually napped that day). After Jacie's in bed, Conroy and I get a chance to re-connect. (Thus the maxim that a kid's bedtime is really for the parents!)
Recognizing that I don't have to schedule out every hour of my day has been freeing to me in several ways:
1. I don't spend my time with Jacie feeling guilty that I should be "accomplishing" something.
2. I am more able to fully embrace and enjoy down time.
3. I am more productive during down time -- I don't have to choose between what I should do (clean or cook) and what I want to do (read or blog or lesson prep).
4. If the "unexpected" comes up, then we are flexible enough to embrace that, too.
When I look back over my life and in particular over these fleeting child-raising years, I want to look back on it as having been a "Mary" time, not a "Martha" time. Though "Martha-like" days hit all of us at times , I want to know that I've spent my life sitting at His feet, seeing His face in the ordinary, hearing His voice in the laughter of my child -- and stopping to laugh with her.
What about you? How to you keep your day vision-centered and not task-oriented?
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